Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML
Today, I was walking home from the gym. An old man in his car rolled down the window and drove slowly next to me. He pulled out a camera, took a picture of me and said, "It's gonna be a fun night!" and then drove off. FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML
Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
"Ohh, you startin' to piss me off, ya little piglet son of a bitch. Call meeee ;)"
blackscent 0
wat the hell..
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Comments (85)
Kenpachi_fml 0
Sounds like u gunna have some fun with James haha enjoy u perv
giganticbrain 0
Dude. You are my hero. #104 is right on about like 78 different levels.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Even better, hahahaha!
epicwinmaster 0
ok for the the ppl who are saying fake because " ohh wrestling is indoooorrrs and that she couldnt see that far" the OP replied to this fml towards the top saying that they were warming up in front of a church. i dont know about you, but the church in my town is right along the side of the road, and a lot of churches are like that. so he couldve seen it clearly. seriously, know what youre talking about before you try to act all cool. you ******* queefburgers. /end rant/
aznsyndicate609 0
Dear Dumbass, Wrestling season has not started yet. Thank you.
TheOtherNewest1 6
Dear OP: I got a great polaroid of it. Love, Goose
wordgirl 0
And you know how old he is because... You immediately left practice to chase down his car and get his digits? He's your type, so you can guess 60-year-olds pretty well? He's your grandpa? His car had "I'm sixty and I like boys" painted on it?
veelababe09 0
he was just guessing a number. chill out. its nothing to get worked up about
ObadiahtheSlim 2
He was probably just messing with you. Lighten up.
kukopia 0
Man, there are soo many creepy things about doing wrestling practice outside at a church!!! You MUST be secretly (or wanna be) GAY to do THAT!! And if you aren't gay... newsflash for ya, the other guys and DEFINITELY the coach ARE!!!
fatesucks 0
a sexual old man raper. scary yet funny as hell!
sleepy_headx 0
you should be glad he didnt rape you -__-