Transportation: Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in...

By WasteOfTime - 01/11/2009 14:36 - United Kingdom

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 360

You deserved it 3 449

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Same thing different taste

Punk'd

By lululee53 - 31/12/2010 00:07 - United States

Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 281

You deserved it 49 843

By Noname - 08/02/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 192

You deserved it 3 881

Get off my hood

By Anonymous - 03/01/2016 23:00 - United States - Kennett Square

Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 465

You deserved it 1 271

Subconscious

By doodler - 27/02/2014 11:59 - United States - Hurst

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 099

You deserved it 13 509

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 04:01

Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 24/04/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, "Wash Me." After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 838

You deserved it 65 450

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 15:21 - United States

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 305

You deserved it 3 859

Hey you

By pappy - 03/05/2019 13:00 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 962

You deserved it 317

By chicoallen - 31/08/2011 18:45 - United States

Today, after getting off work from a horrible 16 hour shift, I went out to my truck. My windows were completely covered in window chalk, to the point that I couldn't leave. I had to spend the next hour and a half washing it all off while my manager laughed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 988

You deserved it 2 221

By Jehovah God - 07/03/2014 18:51 - United States - Richmond

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 382

You deserved it 3 614

misspeg 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:05

people can be so immature sometimes! FYL

zombienightmare 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:09

your neighbor must think your a dick

Comments

misspeg 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:05

people can be so immature sometimes! FYL

seanreddog 4

Sunday 1 November 2009 22:33

Don't get your panties in a bunch. It was funny.

Reyo 2

Monday 2 November 2009 1:51

*psst* you're supposed to continue the chain. Only when you've drawn the penis on someone else's van will the penis fairy stop her shenanigans.

Penetration 0

Monday 2 November 2009 4:10

Ask your neighbors if they like your wiener wagon.

omghehehe 0

Monday 2 November 2009 5:44

hahahhaha!! love that! OP: did u chuckle? :D ohh common, a lil bit? :D

Rayn4u_fml 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 14:24

(S)he's not immature, just committed!

alexandraa_fml 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:08

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

prettyvolatile 3

Thursday 21 June 2012 7:13

Easy for you to say, not ALL dudes want a giant penis on the side of their van.

seanreddog 4

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:09

TACO!

quarty165 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:09

lol, kinda sucks, but at least it's funny!

thunder352 4

Thursday 13 March 2014 5:17

That's the important part!

zombienightmare 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:09

your neighbor must think your a dick

zoeeeeee 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:11

I luv that red devil

citycrazed25 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:15

thats hilarious

arielhoee 9

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:26

It was me.

gpstyne 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:27

that sucks

moonsolomon 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:31

There's an epidemic of this nonsense at my school. 'Tis absurd.

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 273

You deserved it 2 515

The Top

Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 162

Today, I decided to teach my dog not to be scared of the vacuum cleaner. I grab the handle and get it close to her. She runs off and hides behind the couch and pisses everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 042

You deserved it 38 992

Today, I found out that my mom uses my incredibly expensive conditioner to wash her two dogs every single weekend. No wonder they smell so good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 389

You deserved it 404

Today, my friend spilt orange juice all over my iPad. She then went ahead to clean it off by rinsing it with water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 384

You deserved it 3 017

Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 957

You deserved it 2 922

Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 286

You deserved it 3 712

Same thing different taste

Punk'd

Get off my hood

Subconscious

Hey you

Top comments

Comments