Vaetrus

About Vaetrus

I don't check comments twice. I barely check 'em the first time. If you are neurotic enough to want me to know your opinion of what I wrote, then write it down on a piece of paper and mail it to Santa. He knows how to get it to me. I will send a response back when I start believing in Santa.

Vaetrus - Followers

Vaetrus - Followed

Vaetrus's page visits

More

Hugged!

Vaetrus's FML badges

It's in the can!
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

100%
The thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

0%
The return of the thumb
You have thumbed 5000 comments.

0%
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

28%
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

9%
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

4%
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

7%

The list of badges to find

Vaetrus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "wtf am I doing," he kissed my boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Saturday 25 July 2009 05:19 / United States

Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By meg265 - / Saturday 24 October 2009 16:11 / United States

Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By catgirl911 - / Tuesday 13 October 2009 01:44 / United States

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Icy - / Thursday 1 October 2009 06:59 / United States

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By grossgross - / Saturday 26 September 2009 18:21 / United States

More

It's in the can!

The thumb strikes back

The return of the thumb

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

One more and it's business time