Work: Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over...

By iceman123432 - 02/09/2009 20:07 - United States

Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 121

You deserved it 4 244

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By mjperfetti84 - 22/11/2009 13:53 - United States

Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 483

You deserved it 6 178

Drive by shooting

By justicewargrave - 16/07/2021 02:01

Today, I was walking home from the gym. An old man in his car rolled down the window and drove slowly next to me. He pulled out a camera, took a picture of me and said, "It's gonna be a fun night!" and then drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 88

By jessinono - 17/05/2013 16:16 - United States

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 638

You deserved it 5 543

By Scarred - 04/09/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 975

You deserved it 5 656

By wench - 23/12/2010 20:39 - United States

Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 557

You deserved it 36 618

Creeped out

By gymgirl - 17/12/2013 23:48 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 371

You deserved it 3 840

By badtiming - 15/09/2010 04:15 - United States

Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 088

You deserved it 3 290

By Noname - 08/02/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 183

You deserved it 3 871

By brenami - 31/12/2010 06:13 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 939

You deserved it 7 741

Close shave

By Elisabeth - 16/08/2020 17:01

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 1 481

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 3 September 2009 1:39

"Ohh, you startin' to piss me off, ya little piglet son of a bitch. Call meeee ;)"

blackscent 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 1:40

wat the hell..

Comments

porsche944 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 2:03

Screwtaylor, That's the plan. The whole point of the fml is that the old gay guy was feasting on the OP's male ass. You said "She could have..." and I was just telling you that he's a man.

screwtaylor 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 2:05

Oh, my mistake. :|

mrda 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 2:08

Yummm. LOL

jonny2x4 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 2:11

"You need to stretch out those creamy hamstrings."- Herbert the Pervert

thethreestooges 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 2:12

Haha, reminds me of the PE teacher I had freshman year. I feel your pain.

plexico 3

Thursday 3 September 2009 2:28

You bastard! The poor old man had chapped lips. You should have been a good guy and offered him some Chap-Stik. If you didn't have any with you, smegma would do.

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 3 September 2009 2:39

Haha, that word gets used a LOT in my house. The guy should learn the joy of felching. Then his lips will never be dry!

stainbroo 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 2:41

how do you know he had chapped lips? you make it sound like you were there and know for a fact that the creepy old man had chapped lips.

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 3 September 2009 2:44

plexico IS the old man ;D

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 3 September 2009 2:46

Lol @ #44. I concur! So Plexico, how was that smegma? By the way, #44, you're cute. One of the first attractive males I've seen here. :)

Unregistered 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 3:01

right cus emo asians are all the rage with girls at this time right

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 3 September 2009 3:07

Haha thanks, Intoxicunt :]

SomeonePosting 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 3:23

That'd be funny if it were true! Unregistered, you're a ****. Knock it off. Go have a hate-mainstream-anything wank elsewhere.

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 3 September 2009 3:37

Whoo! *Throws panties at the Asian guy* XD

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 3 September 2009 4:23

LOL

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 3 September 2009 6:13

Lmao. Mercy, you're amazing.

LeedsFML 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 8:32

Isn't felching done with a straw?

RobDug 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 2:32

I know what boys like....I know what guys like....I know what boys like...boys like...boys like me... XD

youEQUALtosser 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 2:39

I was going to just laugh at this and go on, but then I noticed it was posted by a man. Hahaha. That made it so much funnier. Herbert will be driving along more often.