By fuuuuck - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States Wakey wakey Today, I had a big presentation to do at work, so I got up early and ran myself a bath. I woke up three hours later, extremely late, and still in the bath. FML I agree, your life sucks 19289 You deserved it 25100 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DanJames24 - 24/5/2021 05:01 - United Kingdom - Southsea Wakey wakey Today, my flatmate woke me up early, saying there was a fire and we had to evacuate. Barely awake, she practically dragged me downstairs and got to the front door. Once we got there, she opened the front door, kneed me in the nuts and pushed me out, locking it behind her. I was only in boxers. FML I agree, your life sucks 1002 You deserved it 130 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 10/5/2021 14:01 Say sorry to Mr Whiskers! Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML I agree, your life sucks 810 You deserved it 236 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By liza - 29/3/2021 16:59 Spirits, awake! Today, since my alarm didn’t go off at 7 a.m., I awoke to my mother attempting to perform Necromancy on me “as a joke.” She wore a black robe and everything. FML I agree, your life sucks 718 You deserved it 183 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 26/3/2021 05:00 - Germany - Ebersbach Wake up bark Today, my mom taught her dog not to jump onto her bed without "asking". The dog figured that barking would be a good way to ask, and mostly feels the need to do that around 4 a.m. My room is right next to my mom’s, and I already have trouble sleeping. FML I agree, your life sucks 833 You deserved it 54 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 11/3/2021 20:01 Wake up Boo! Today, my work made us all get up at 3 a.m. to head to the airport for our 7 a.m. flight, only for us to get to the airport and find out the flight is cancelled. FML I agree, your life sucks 902 You deserved it 78 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/3/2021 15:30 - United States - Alachua Purr Evil Today, I was awakened at 5:30 a.m. Did my dog need to go out? No. Did my alarm go off? No. My neighbor's asshole cat was on my window AC, scratching at my window, before pissing on the AC and jumping off. If I turn it on, my bedroom will reek of cat piss. The high today will be near 90. FML I agree, your life sucks 820 You deserved it 65 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 22/2/2021 14:02 Alarmed Today, my sister promised to wake me up at 8 for my 9:30 class. She woke me at noon, and only because I was snoring. FML I agree, your life sucks 504 You deserved it 893 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 3lavyaa - United Kingdom Good morning! Today, I woke up and the sun was blinding me through my attic window. I have no blinds so I got a poster from my wall and stuck it to the wood on my window with nails. Turn's out I have woodrot, and my entire window fell out. FML I agree, your life sucks 33920 You deserved it 4756 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I’ve been married for 8 days and I haven’t had sex with my wife since then. I’m 24 and she’s 20. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 You deserved it 1 0 Comments
Today, it's my birthday and I’m getting more happy birthday wishes from spam emails than actual people. FML I agree, your life sucks 19 You deserved it 5 0 Comments
Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our... I agree, your life sucks 279 You deserved it 67 5 Comments
Today, I made the mistake of telling my boyfriend that I once fooled around innocently with another girl. He’s now trying to force me to "explore my bisexuality".... I agree, your life sucks 744 You deserved it 199 6 Comments