Transportation: Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my...

By grossgross - 26/09/2009 18:21 - United States

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 589

You deserved it 5 535

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Same thing different taste

By needanewride - 16/11/2012 02:40 - United States - Newton Center

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 289

You deserved it 3 312

By scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 891

You deserved it 3 408

By Anon - 13/03/2009 04:00 - United States

Today, I was on the subway. I have fairly serious OCD, so I avoided holding the poles or handles. All the seats were taken, so I leaned against a wall. At the next stop, an obese, sweaty man got on and grabbed the two poles around me, effectively hugging me. My shirt was wet when he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 512

You deserved it 6 007

By Groped - 02/04/2011 00:45 - United States

Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 787

You deserved it 5 262

Perv!

By Thithien1 - 01/04/2009 06:07 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 898

You deserved it 12 664

Three's a crowd

By Anonymous - 13/08/2014 11:33 - Australia - Rooty Hill

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 670

You deserved it 4 014

By bridezilla - 05/07/2009 04:12 - Canada

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 6 852

By WhatsThatSmell - 25/02/2011 13:25 - Australia

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 832

You deserved it 4 511

By fmylifebad - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 139

You deserved it 12 188

By M.L. - 06/09/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 467

You deserved it 12 785

bekahshae 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 23:11

After you got off, you should have said, "Now that'll be twenty dollars."

lucaso86 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 23:04

YAY for creepy boners

Comments

LaFlavex 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 2:39

ohh shit! that's awful. i can't imagine how embarrassed he was though.

wintermadness1 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 2:49

He definitely should have turned, but you can't blame a man for getting excited.

visage 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 2:52

Shut up... you know you liked it! Hell, you're probably rubbing one out to it as I type this!!!

myballs 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 2:52

The guy should have turned, but I think it's at least possible he wasn't a perv. Some guys can't even have physical contact with / talk to girls without getting an erection. They're called virgins, and I am one.

FerrariCake 2

Sunday 27 September 2009 4:06

You get an erection just from talking to a girl? What will you do about job interviews??

startrekker 3

Sunday 27 September 2009 3:25

So disgusting and I am not surprised this happened to you. One time as I was walking up the stairs from the subway some man kept trying to cup my ass. I turned around and I yelled right in his face "what the **** is your problem". The look of surprise and embarassment on his face was so worth it.

Jefe_fml 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 3:26

I woulda gotten a boner.

TechnoMonkey 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 3:47

While reading this I could only think of one thing, Butters singing "What in my butt".

troll_destroy_er 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 3:56

Hahaha only thing that could make this funnier is if OP's a man... and straight!

FerrariCake 2

Sunday 27 September 2009 4:09

OP... I agree with some of the other posts here: it sounds like you secretly enjoyed the feeling of his hardness against your ass. Don't be embarassed... it's perfectly natural. Most girls do enjoy this. You could have got off the train at the next stop and got on the next one. But you didn't. Instead you probably closed your eyes and dreamed you were with someone else. It was a win-win for both of you.

iloooovemylife 7

Sunday 27 September 2009 4:16

i hate wen the train gets crowded, i usually take the D train to go to college and its usually filled wid chinese all crowded n shit the worst part wen they open up their food to eat no offense but it makes me puke !! btw my life roks !!