Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, while at a rest stop, I heard a woman in the stall next to me answer her phone and say to the other person, "Oh nothing just pooping and shit." FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
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Top comments
blondeamazonian 18
Life with a toddler. Not sure what more could have been expected from that moment...
abbyade 21
Lol that's so adorable. Lol I don't know what you were expecting her to say. Cute!
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Comments (83)
thinblue32 15
Aren't you glad you told your daughter not to lie? Lol
[email protected] 14
I'm impressed that you're three year old can speak at that age most babies can't your going to have a very smart child
gemstone586 12
really..... just. really....???
thatguynamedsky 32
dude... when did you start talking? o.o
Dynosaur_dollie 38
By three a child should be able to speak well enough that they are understood by most people. So "most babies" should be able to speak by that age.
trex454 21
dude my niece is 1 and starting to talk. you need to go back to health class
kmccain 27
There's something seriously wrong if your kid isn't talking by age 3.
immaloser95 28
your* and most children learn basic words at 1.
tdawg91 17
I really hope you accidentally read 3 MONTHS because children should be able to form a basic sentence by 3 YEARS old unless they have speech issues
[email protected] 14
Six.... Got a problem with that
shiffizzle 13
That's hilarious, kids are awesome
hurley12 30
What did you expect? Next time just call back OP
Jake42100 17
Well at least whoever called knows what you were doing lol...
FluffyPandas156 13
Well you did told her to answer it, at least she picked the phone up. I know a few 3 year olds that doesn't know How to answer yet or refuse to.
LoverWordsFood 27
That's actually pretty freaking cute. Give this child a cookie.
goddessa9 12
Stupid toddlers
tranced_ 45
What do you do in the loo without your phone?
koolkool994 28
Most households still use home phones, which are not usually kept in the bathroom. OP could have been using their mobile, like you were saying
Corneliapresent 13
That's sweet, in a couple of years you'll laugh telling this story and she'll yell at you in anger for telling that story again and again