Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, while at a rest stop, I heard a woman in the stall next to me answer her phone and say to the other person, "Oh nothing just pooping and shit." FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
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Top comments
blondeamazonian 18
Life with a toddler. Not sure what more could have been expected from that moment...
abbyade 21
Lol that's so adorable. Lol I don't know what you were expecting her to say. Cute!
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Comments (83)
starlandmarie 22
Everybody poops!
trex454 21
you deserve it for your username
failedgamer01 20
More proof that little children never lie. :) hopefully you thought it was funny and the person on the other line.
ezrajab 22
Well ain't that some shit!
That_Guy_69_ 8
Random comment of the day: the water that splashes up after you poo
kaylizs 20
Poseidon's kiss!
Kitti_the_Killer 8
How is this possible. My baby brother is three butt hasn't spoken a perfect sentence yet.. And why are you allowing your TODDLER to answer the phone anyway.
cwenboo 18
Firstly, every child is different. I worked at a preschool with 2-4 year olds for my work experience, they nearly all spoke in full sentences, the rest just put the main words of a sentence together. I was particularly impressed with a two year old girl. Secondly, many people allow their young children to answer their private phone, which has family and friends who would know the child anyway, and if anyone else rang they'd most likely just ask "can I speak to your mummy?" Or something of the sort. It's really not your place to judge.
iseebearbears 27
That's pretty bad. Most kids can speak in simple sentences by age 2. Tell your parents to get your brother checked out by a professional.
Brandi_Faith 34
33, you need to get your brother to the doctor as soon as you can because he is going to need speech therapy and it's best to start that early (especially before school)! My 3 year old nephew speaks full sentences (like most 3 year olds) but most people have a hard time understanding him, so he is now going to speech therapy. I would be extremely concerned if he's not speaking yet at 3. You should be able to have a small conversation with him by now. My other concern is; are your parents not taking him for his regular (usually a minimum of yearly) checkups to the doctor? They would be giving him needles, assessing his weight and height, and always assess the child's speech. There's a certain amount of words they should be saying at each age, and if they're not saying it by shortly after that age, they usually get them into speech therapy. You want to get this checked out, especially before he goes to school because he won't be able to communicate with the teachers!
mellib381 15
This is cute tho.
hunterjumper88 8
Never a good idea.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Why didn't you wait to get out and return the call?
vikky538 29
I admire your kids honesty...