Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
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Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, while at a rest stop, I heard a woman in the stall next to me answer her phone and say to the other person, "Oh nothing just pooping and shit." FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
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Top comments
blondeamazonian 18
Life with a toddler. Not sure what more could have been expected from that moment...
abbyade 21
Lol that's so adorable. Lol I don't know what you were expecting her to say. Cute!
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Comments (83)
150493x 29
Everybody poops.
CaroAurelia 12
That probably sucks for you, but God, kids are amusing.
uchihadesendent 14
if whoever called you has kids they'll understand
abbeyp27 12
Life of a mommy
saffy66 34
Yep, my son did something similar once when the 2IC of my then workplace called me. Tell her I can't come to the phone right now; I'll call her back, I said. So he picked the phone back up and said, Mum's on the toilet. When I called the 2IC back she could barely speak for laughing. It's funny now but it wasn't at the time.
katydid91 31
Just out of curiosity, what is 2IC?
yolololol3 17
I can't go to the bathroom without a phone.
dakotaabriannee 14
Oh come on! You shoulda saw that one coming!!
DanielleD93 16
Atleast she doesn't lie
Mysterious_one 26
so? don't how come this slipped as fml
Wolfipoo 31
Sorry that you have to deal with that OP, I hope it was someone who would understand.