By Anonymous
Today, I went to the store to buy new blankets and a comforter. A cute guy started chatting with me and asked about the new bedroom decor. I lied and said I just had a major break up and needed new things, instead of admitting I was too lazy to dig out and wash my winter blankets from last year. FML
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Top comments
  Redhairchick  |  10

Exactly, must be nice to be able to afford to spend $50+ simply because you're too lazy to use perfectly good blankets and comforter that are somewhere just a little bit inconvenient.

  Tripartita  |  44

Here, maybe this these third world problems will be more your speed:

"Today, I spent 16 hours working the fields for the food I eat while still unable to get regular access to clean water, education, or medical aid. If I'm lucky, I'll be groomed to fight in the same theocratic army that has terrorized my family for all six years of my life. FML"

By  chirstinap325  |  21

I think that faking a break up is much more work than saying you don't feel like pulling it out. Now they have to fake sympathy and you have to awkwardly accept it. What if they had asked what happened? The first lie is never the last, OP.

But I'm sure your new blankets are there to Comfort you during your road of redemption.

By  Tripartita  |  44

An alternative response that has always worked for me (in my head) is:

"Well, my previous decor was torn to pieces in the throes of passion shared with a particularly virile and handsome lover, so I decided to get more… and I'm not just talking about blankets."