By Anonymous - 07/11/2016 20:13

Today, I went to the store to buy new blankets and a comforter. A cute guy started chatting with me and asked about the new bedroom decor. I lied and said I just had a major break up and needed new things, instead of admitting I was too lazy to dig out and wash my winter blankets from last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks 8 814
You deserved it 3 240

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I hope you sleep well in your blanket of lies. Lies I say.

You didn't even need to say you had a break up, people replace blankets and duvets all the time.

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I hope you sleep well in your blanket of lies. Lies I say.

You didn't even need to say you had a break up, people replace blankets and duvets all the time.

Exactly. Making up something was dumb.

Well, OP said he was cute. So they wanted to make sure cute guy knew they were available.

First world problems.

Exactly, must be nice to be able to afford to spend $50+ simply because you're too lazy to use perfectly good blankets and comforter that are somewhere just a little bit inconvenient.

Here, maybe this these third world problems will be more your speed: "Today, I spent 16 hours working the fields for the food I eat while still unable to get regular access to clean water, education, or medical aid. If I'm lucky, I'll be groomed to fight in the same theocratic army that has terrorized my family for all six years of my life. FML"

What is this, a bad Adam Sandler film? Make up a fake relationship rather than saying something much simpler? This always works out so well.

I wish I was wealthy enough to buy a new bedding rather than unpack and wash it...

I think that faking a break up is much more work than saying you don't feel like pulling it out. Now they have to fake sympathy and you have to awkwardly accept it. What if they had asked what happened? The first lie is never the last, OP. But I'm sure your new blankets are there to Comfort you during your road of redemption.

I was thinking the same thing. It would have just sounded better saying " I am just looking for something new".

An alternative response that has always worked for me (in my head) is: "Well, my previous decor was torn to pieces in the throes of passion shared with a particularly virile and handsome lover, so I decided to get more… and I'm not just talking about blankets."

Much better and Infinitely more appropriate. 12/10. Would recommend.

Your blanket is filthy from your shameful fibs.

Y'know, you should still wash bedding after you've bought it. I kinda think this way was more effort. Eh, you do you OP.

It was easier to drive to the store, find the blankets, go home and wash them than it would be to get blankets out of the closet and wash them?

I'm pretty sure OP isn't going to wash them when they come from the store.