By Anonymous - 07/11/2016 20:13
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You didn't even need to say you had a break up, people replace blankets and duvets all the time.
Here, maybe this these third world problems will be more your speed: "Today, I spent 16 hours working the fields for the food I eat while still unable to get regular access to clean water, education, or medical aid. If I'm lucky, I'll be groomed to fight in the same theocratic army that has terrorized my family for all six years of my life. FML"
I think that faking a break up is much more work than saying you don't feel like pulling it out. Now they have to fake sympathy and you have to awkwardly accept it. What if they had asked what happened? The first lie is never the last, OP. But I'm sure your new blankets are there to Comfort you during your road of redemption.
An alternative response that has always worked for me (in my head) is: "Well, my previous decor was torn to pieces in the throes of passion shared with a particularly virile and handsome lover, so I decided to get more… and I'm not just talking about blankets."