By panda - 03/03/2011 11:20

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 261
You deserved it 6 279
Animals
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Top comments

VeeVengeance 0

A machete really? Where do you think you are, in the ******* jungle?

129 10
Zebidee 8

Alternatively, whoever was there heard a dog lose its mind, saw the house lights come on, a guy stumble around, pick up a machete and head for the yard, then unsurprisingly decided not to stick around and see what happened next. Buy your dog a big bone.

83 2

Comments

zakmillard 0

hahahahahahaha damn dooooog! :)

0 5
uomealot1 0

GHOST PARANORMAL ACTIVITY

1 5
dusty209 0

sounds like he was jus being a normal dog. the person is hella overreacting and this shouldn't b on fml

10 4
VeeVengeance 0

A machete really? Where do you think you are, in the ******* jungle?

129 10
48Connor 10

Could be a wolf.. You gonna take that thing on?

14 0
rallets 22

maybe hes Danny Trejo

1 1
jewjewB 0

omg funniest costume ever

8 1
vegan_muffin 5

I do the same thing with a machete. They look intimidating. Not to mention they are good to have around for the impending zombie apocalypse.

20 2
Pontihog 0

Hey, machete's are badass, and nothing can change that.

6 0
turkeys_hen 0

or your house may have entities in it. animals are more sensitive to paranormal stuff.

8 19
TomPusslicker 21

Or the house may have entities....Did you know animals are more aware of stuff thats paranormal? lol

3 3
devileyekill 0

Yes, my dogs tell me when unicorns, pixies and wizards are near by.

22 1
bls5301 2

"or you may have entities" says tompusslicker... more like tomNOpusslicker

1 3
Zebidee 8

Alternatively, whoever was there heard a dog lose its mind, saw the house lights come on, a guy stumble around, pick up a machete and head for the yard, then unsurprisingly decided not to stick around and see what happened next. Buy your dog a big bone.

83 2
sicofthsht 1

Here, here! My dog is the same way. He stays inside at night but doesn't make any noise unless something's going on outside the house... Love that big knucklehead of a dog of my.

6 0
ricfenrir 0

Smart person, then. I mean, who would try to steal a house when you saw the owner grab a machete? You gotta be chuck norris-ing me.

10 0
sicofthsht 1

Quick question... How do you "steal" a house? :/ I mean first, you'd have to lift it from it's foundation... Yada, yada, so on and so forth.. Hehe.

18 2
bhangu023 0

sicoftgsht shut up man no1 gives a shit, everyone with common sense knows what he meant.

1 18
cardoor12 0

some people don't have a sense of humor. lol

6 2
woosah 16

can u jam out #51?.... anyone can see they were joking..... common sense.

4 1
marinus_fml 19

Or, maybe, the intruder actually left the yard as the dog started "going nuts". Sure as hell if I was ever to intrude, and a big dog started barking his head off, I'm not going to stay on the premises and hide under a shrub!

28 0
TomPusslicker 21

i completely agree, and sticking with the unoriginal train, due south to buttfuck, Idaho....he should buy that dog a big bone.

0 2
beastin34 0

really? A spoon would have been better

9 2
cptmorgan15 2

You read my mind..... A spoon would most definitely be the first thing I would go for to defend myself... On the other hand, maybe I'd whip out a stuffed animal and throw marshmellows at the burglar.

11 0
sicofthsht 1

You know, a gun does wonders for home defense... Just sayin'.

2 3
lordcaliburx 0

agree. I live in Texas and every one has a gun. shit i got 4. never been broken into but just in case.

2 2
sicofthsht 1

Texas native as well, my friend. And a proud owner of a safe full of noise makers... I'm not afraid of a home invasion. If my dog can't take care of a person breaking into my home and risking the lives of my family, I will. Gotta protect your own, right?

3 1
ricfenrir 0

Teh hell, i'd grab my pillow and bitch-slap the thief with it.

5 0
lifeinhd 3

It will find you... it will catch you... it will hit you... with a spoon! Again... and again...

3 0
vwmkvgirl 1

yeah... I'll stick with the firearms. granted I have a machete too... but I still think I'll use the guns if absolutely necessary.

1 1
bitchslapped22 14

Why the hell do you have a machete available in your house?

8 4
RODEOqueen 0

If you have woods on your property it can be a very handy tool. Makes getting through thick brush a whole lot easier. OP - If your dog was sleeping, it's possible it heard something that put it into protection mode. Maybe the wind or a car, people somewhere close by, or a neighbors cat? Just because you didn't see it doesn't mean your dog is an asshole.

8 0
felipe87 2

in case of a zombie attack. have you not read the zombie survival guide?

2 1
yuggi1 11

My dad owns a machete, and why not? You can use it to chop people up, make 'em quake in fear.... no really, but yeah.

1 1
joseph42424233 0

I'd go through your thick brush awful quick 27.

1 6
atomicbaboon 0

it's much more convenient then using a small knife to cut your sandwiches in half.

6 0