Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when looking through my home surveillance camera footage, I realised I was almost burgled. Two men broke in, looked around for a few minutes, and on the audio I clearly heard them complaining that I didn’t have anything worth stealing, so one of them pissed on my armchair. I'd blamed my dog for that damp patch. FML
Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML
Today, I found out my dog is a felon. He broke into a neighbor's house by breaking in through the screen door. He also vandalized their property by shitting on their carpet. Our neighbors are now considering suing us. FML
Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML
Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML
Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
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Top comments
bigdikbubls 5
maybe you just never liked the dog and it picks up on that
Isamermaid 17
Maybe it was one of his friends.
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Comments (9)
bigdikbubls 5
maybe you just never liked the dog and it picks up on that
Isamermaid 17
Maybe it was one of his friends.
AmbrosiaFan 19
So he trusts those burglars more than he trusts you...
leximichelle 13
Dogs can read people. It’s probably not as “vicious” as you say it is and you’re just a jerk.
tounces7 28
This is a load of crap, dogs don't have some magical powers.
s_ve 7
Dogs are highly intelligent creatures and pick up on people... maybe he just doesn’t like your vibe.
WistayShlaio82 13
Sorry, the dog recognized the burglars.
julfunky 29
There’s a reason for it.
Justin Bowen 7
Dogs that aren't specifically trained to be guard dogs or vicious towards strangers generally don't make good guard dogs.
IHaveThePower 18
That's a REALLY GOOD thing--your pupper is socialized properly! 'Guard dogs' are basically abused into it (police dogs are...not really treated great either, and have HORRIBLE relationships with humans other than their handlers, it's not good), and your pupper probably just thinks you smell funny. Try re-introducing yourself to the doggo with some treats and play. After a couple of times, doggy will start liking you more.