Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML
Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML
Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML
Today, my daughter complained that she no longer wanted to talk about poop, as it grosses her out. This is a girl who can eat a rare steak while watching a guy’s arms get hacked off on TV, but poop is where she draws the line. FML
Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
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Top comments
ImTheAlpha 30
Don't you just love children?
Attacksloth 33
A word of advice for people who insist on using the same three puns: Stop.
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Comments (87)
SS 31
That's a shitty situation!
gigistar15 21
Don't worry, she will most likely forget it. When I was little I watched Futurama everyday... though I'm not saying you should do that.
mike3775 39
When one of mine did that, that kid became responsible for the potty training. Never happened again
BlindlyWandering 17
That's actually a really good idea.
Swarmling 13
Yes, let's find every excuse to rid of our responsibilities!
Amandallynn 9
that doesn't always work...it backfires actually
okaydisarray 17
She doesn't necessarily need to be responsible for potty training, I think being required to change all diapers until training occurs would be a sufficient consequence. Personally, I wouldn't trust my oldest to potty train anyone...
mike3775 39
By responsible, that's what I did #69, as well as continually asking if the other needed to go potty, much like the wife and I did.
ndnpride88 25
Have fun retraining her. Make it fun with putting stickers or some kind of stuffed animals she likes in the bathroom while she's in there.
Dalboz 26
I'd say fyl for her only showing south park to your little kid.
AutisticAbyss 10
Gotta love that Southpark PTSD for not using the toilet!
iPixiee 23
OMG they killed her potty training!
BurleyGames 1
You Bastard!
KhaleesiDannie 26
The older would now be officially on potty training duty and accident clean up and seriously showing a potty training aged kid South Park? they'd be in loads more trouble just for that
niccoled 9
terrible
iwanttogotoparis 26
Children scare me sometimes