Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML
Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML
Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML
Today, my daughter complained that she no longer wanted to talk about poop, as it grosses her out. This is a girl who can eat a rare steak while watching a guy’s arms get hacked off on TV, but poop is where she draws the line. FML
Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
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Top comments
ImTheAlpha 30
Don't you just love children?
Attacksloth 33
A word of advice for people who insist on using the same three puns: Stop.
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Comments (87)
cmac86 24
I was expecting a Mr. Hankee reference.
Omniprism 15
The older sister should be grounded until the younger one is potty trained.
speakfreely 21
Awww, I had a similar problem with my younger cousin. She was terrified of the toilets that flushed on their own and would never use the bathroom when we were out in public place because of the toilets were like that. Took her forever to not be afraid of them
patrickalamo 48
Older sis has a new job, potty training
SheepShoop_fml 20
That part of the episode is definitely squick-worthy. Sorry OP. Good luck straightening that out.
The_Sadist 13
I agree with what a few of the others have said. Older sister is now on at least diaper change /mess clean up duty until potty training is complete. If she wants to help with potty training...it'll probably go faster. We had a bear of a time getting ours potty trained as it is...if something like this happened to delay the process just he was getting comfortable, I probably would've gone ballistic.
seriouslygrowup 11
Parenting fail. You shouldn't be showing South Park to any of your children let alone allow them to watch it
catanita 18
How old is the older sister if she is allowed to watch South Park?
more4me 27
Siblings . .. Pretty typical, actually . The pranks will continue ! Good luck OP !
Mikotos 4
Ah the good old reverse cowgirl episode. It's hard to keep a straight face at the airports now with all the TSA agents.