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I_dislike_Twilight United States

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

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Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.

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Top comments

Egnar 19

Give her what she wants. Start acting emotionless, leave bite marks on her neck and constantly tell her how you guys can no longer be together because your extended family wants you killed. Oh and don't forgot the constant whining and being annoying. If you want to be bold you can also remind her anytime she wants to have sex that blood no longer flows through your body so you're unable to get it up and please her.

saning 2

Nope. Spot on.

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Comments (238)

kenshin496 3

Show her a porno n tell her the same thing.. Lol..

False_Stupidity 42

Has anyone else wondered what scenes were in the montage and considered that maybe, just maybe it was just a collection of the few romantic and/or kiss scenes (yes they exist) and this was what she was trying to communicate?.. although there are better choices than twighlight.. Id give points for creativity.

ballerinaaub 17

like when Kristen steward tells him "no, don't go." with an expressionless face and monotone voice.... yes real romantic

RoseCrystal 17

sooo she wants glitter, vapid expressions, and abstinence from sex.

xoxogymmiexoxo 0

She wants unconditional love?

couchornament32 0

35- Are you nuts? Twilight does not depict true love, or anything close. it depicts, ***********, necrophila, OCD stalkers, indesiciveness, emotional detachment from reality, and other things that no woman should EVER think depicts love or romance at all. not to mention the books are horribly written as is the script for the movies. the only reason twilight ever did well.... there are far tooany morons out there these days that think that it is a touching love story. oh, my wife agrees whole heartedly, because she knows what love and romance really is, and its not the rarity that the series portrays...... btw that would be necrophila and ***********.. ewwww

Egnar 19

Ughg another one of those wrong reply bugs :-/.

LaUruguaya 11

Learn what necrophilia and ********** are before making idiotic comments! Necrophilia is when you enjoy sex with a dead, UNANIMATED corpse. Edward moves. He's not what a necrophile would want. ********** means you enjoy sex with animals. Bella isn't attracted to Jacob because he's a wolf! And if she picked him she would obviously have relationship with his human self. at least know what you are talking about before bashing something!

180CS 2

We're not the ones in love with 100 year old sparkling vampires honey. :) I read the first couple of chapters just so I can in fact say that I truly dislike it, though I can see how it might appeal to a 12 year old. Or anyone with the general mentality of a 12 year old.

Shadow_Phantom 26

First couple of chapters? I didn't get past the first page. My sister got to 7 chapters and said "screw this," and she's a bookworm, so I acknowledge her knowledge.

Egnar 19

.(deleted)

kemando 22

pour some glitter on your dick ;)

izzy7 11

Apparently what's missing is your wife's maturity.

jose1760 1

Divorce her!!