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I_dislike_Twilight United States

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

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Top comments

Egnar 19

Give her what she wants. Start acting emotionless, leave bite marks on her neck and constantly tell her how you guys can no longer be together because your extended family wants you killed. Oh and don't forgot the constant whining and being annoying. If you want to be bold you can also remind her anytime she wants to have sex that blood no longer flows through your body so you're unable to get it up and please her.

saning 2

Nope. Spot on.

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Comments (238)

Airborn0280 18

Start bathing in glitter, I'm sure she will change her mind after a week.

WCARlover 35

Why has someone old enough to be a wife seen Twilight? 0_0 Let alone take it seriously

CrazyGirl445 4

my mom has seen twilight?

chili10 18

I know a lot of moms that have seen and read twilight. My mom, unfortunately, is one of them. She said that the books were Wait for it! "a great piece of literature!" Alright, I'm gonna go change my name and live under a rock now.

erockinthesuburb 17

So, she took the time to edit together a twilight video montage instead of just sitting you down and talking to you like a normal person? Sounds like the only thing missing in your marriage is some sanity.

Egnar 19

I'm sure she found one by some other sad sack on youtube. . .

T0sta 8

Leave! NOW

creedaddict 9

She wants u to suck her blood?

DjeePee 25

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Honestly, she needs to get her grib on reality back. Life is not as in the movies, and decent relationships are not like the one in Twilight.

leadman1989 16

Caught in the head lights no escape from reality...

BenderJ_fml 5

Open your eyes, Look up to the skies and see...

CH1CKEN_FL1PPEN 4

I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy....

bfsd42 20

I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy.

instnt1nfction 17

Is there something I need to know?

BuhZinga 2

...because I'm easy come, easy go...

laden_swallow09 35

Little high… Little low…

apndi 9

little high, little low...

TheLastChild 8

Open you eyes, look up to the skies and see...

TheLastChild 8

fail -_- stupid ipod.

KiddNYC1O 22

Arrhggggggghhhhh!! Why is this happening to me?

InsanePPG 25

Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me.

instnt1nfction 17

No seriously, I'm confused What's going on here

thrAsHeRr9081 16

Bohemian Rhapsody is happening to you

chili10 18

Momma, just killed a man. Put a gun against his head, pulled the trigger now he's dead.

ThreeSheetsGone 12

Momma, life had just begun...

GigaB 0

mama just killed a man. put a gun against his head

wolfgold2 20

MAMA LIFE HAD JUST BEGUN, AND NOW IVE GONE THROWN IT ALL AWAY

Brooding99 15

Wow, so yall's marriage is missing to waxed/polished/annoying 20 somethings? Dude, good luck with that!

ZielZone 4

So she is torn between necrophilia and ********** ... Good to know you picked her and not someone else!!!!

Millman_fml 9

Wow she has reality problems. Like that person said if she's old enough to be a wife, she shouldn't be watching twilight!...Does she want you sucking her blood?! The kinda that comes out only only a week at a time? Rofl.

McAninch35 9

No.

Deathhound 27

Well, it's not the age. You can watch Twilight even if you're 80. It doesn't matter.

sougstad 7

Dude, ur wife is gay