I_dislike_Twilight
United States
Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Divorce?
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
bloodshedblack
United States
Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML
wtfiswrongwithher
Australia
Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML
boblaj
Hastings, United Kingdom
Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
rikitsumiatsu
This is the rhythm of the night
Today, my wife showed me a video she took of me last night. I was shit-faced, dancing half naked to '90s club music in the middle of the street at midnight. She won't stop laughing at me and replaying the video. FML
fiftyno
Tacoma, United States
Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML
fml
Huntsville, United States
Really!
Today, after receiving our marriage certificate, I told my wife about it. She responded with "fml". FML
divorced
United States
Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML
bmonehh
United States
Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML
an unlucky man
Simi Valley, United States
Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML
Top comments
Egnar 19
Give her what she wants. Start acting emotionless, leave bite marks on her neck and constantly tell her how you guys can no longer be together because your extended family wants you killed. Oh and don't forgot the constant whining and being annoying. If you want to be bold you can also remind her anytime she wants to have sex that blood no longer flows through your body so you're unable to get it up and please her.
saning 2
Nope. Spot on.
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Comments (238)
kitsune3 20
So...You're saying she wants you to be a shimmering, two-sided fag with douchebag chin fuzz, an ass-fugly face, and digitally edited physique who stands as the ultimate disgrace to his own kind?
gurly98 13
Fail she wants u to be a sparkling fairy princess
GoneClubbin 9
Well then the next time she wants sex leave for a week to go " hunting"
GoneClubbin 9
Blood *****
Bludmagnus 13
Do the grown up thing. Get a really graphic BDSM ****, and tell her to guess what is on there that is also missing from your marriage. Answer stupidity with stupidity.
AlcyoneBlack 11
i have only one question to this statement: was she comparing you to jacob or edward?
jayhawk9000 5
yes, because "Twilight" is the BEST model for relationships...smh.
geon_olam 17
What the marriage needs is... A death?
loganmarquez 3
Feels bad man
doglover100 29
It needs a sparkly 101 year old vampire?