Intimacy: Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been... - FML

By Hard in flip flops - 21/01/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 910

You deserved it 4 747

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Same thing different taste

By jack s.b. - 14/11/2013 22:15 - United States - Austin

Spicy

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 064

You deserved it 16 430

By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 03:19 - Sweden - Stockholm

Spicy

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 527

You deserved it 17 448

Quick thinking

By me. - 29/10/2011 04:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 046

You deserved it 35 396

By lovely321 - 02/04/2011 19:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 721

You deserved it 50 110

Ahem

By Bucko321 - 30/03/2009 01:18 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 724

You deserved it 78 322

By Jill Shanks - 01/09/2010 06:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 803

You deserved it 4 339

Sexy time

By Jssceli09 - 18/12/2009 08:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were using our Skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 653

You deserved it 25 013

By maddiee. - 21/10/2010 15:20 - Indonesia

Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 283

You deserved it 7 333

By Anonymous - 22/07/2017 05:29 - United States - Irving

Spicy

Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 178

You deserved it 1 278

Didn't see you there

By eatmyshipoopie - 18/12/2009 15:20 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 669

You deserved it 10 159

Next

Top comments

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 21 January 2018 6:50

If it's any consolation, he's if anything even more scarred by the whole situation than you are.

sadCowboysfan 20

Sunday 21 January 2018 15:46

That must have been awful for all of you. Now that it’s happened, I guess you’ll be more on your toes to stop it from happening again

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 21 January 2018 6:04

And he yelled, “You’re ripping off MY move! Why do you think Mom gets four pedicures a week?!?!”

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 21 January 2018 6:50

If it's any consolation, he's if anything even more scarred by the whole situation than you are.

BlueSteele220 31

Sunday 21 January 2018 6:54

did you finish? it would be worse to be given a pearl necklace by your son..

David Horgan 8

Sunday 21 January 2018 17:17

While looking dead in the eyes of his father.

azouwa 26

Sunday 21 January 2018 7:14

The sat part is.... I can relate. my mom once walked in on me and a bf skyping. FML/FYL

Rhonda Edgar 2

Sunday 21 January 2018 7:30

thats horrible. Thank you for your service!

Cali 54

Tuesday 23 January 2018 5:45

What service? Jacking off on Skype?

manb91uk 22

Sunday 21 January 2018 8:02

This is without a doubt the funniest, cringiest thing I’ve read in weeks! I love it!

AdeenCuffing 12

Sunday 21 January 2018 15:05

Oh my god.

sadCowboysfan 20

Sunday 21 January 2018 15:46

That must have been awful for all of you. Now that it’s happened, I guess you’ll be more on your toes to stop it from happening again

David Horgan 8

Sunday 21 January 2018 17:18

Funny you mentioned feet. I have a feeling you like them...

Lobby_Bee 17

Sunday 21 January 2018 15:54

F your dad's life for having seen that.

Nic1330 5

Sunday 21 January 2018 20:02

I have nothing against gay people but I feel like this was between 2 guys

Kink Rat// ITS FUCKING OUT OF MY GOD 5

Sunday 21 January 2018 20:22

no shit

d34d4lus 6

Sunday 21 January 2018 23:03

I don't think chicks refer to themselves masturbating as jerking off anyway

Rabite 28

Monday 22 January 2018 18:13

What does this sentence even mean?

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Facebook Am I overreacting? Love Social Media AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Technology Education Relatable Students Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I hit off with a guy I met on Tumblr, and we moved to Discord to chat. We're just friends, but have things in common. Then I accidentally called him while he was driving by clicking the wrong button, because I forgot how to search things up. Now he thinks I'm a creep. Time to build my walls back up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 158

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 886

You deserved it 61 114

The Top

Today, my best friend's boyfriend stole her car, so now she wants my car, the one that I just bought from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 660

You deserved it 142

Today, I was going into an office building. There was a boy and a man ahead of me, and the boy held the door open for me. Surprised, I said "What a nice young man," and he said. "It's ok, ma'am; my dad says to always hold the doors open for old ladies." I'm 43. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 656

You deserved it 6 336

Today, and for the last week of job training, I’ve listened to my new boss go on about how we care about our customers and want to engage with our community, even though at the end of every workday I watch him empty the complaints boxes straight into recycling, without reading a single one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 77

Today, after years of pretty much no sex from my long term partner, I admitted I was having dreams about sex with other people, hoping to get a reaction from him. However, he didn't react at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 749

You deserved it 478

Today, I'm in training at an animal shelter. There's an adorable tiny kitten there, which my boss said not to touch because it's feral. "No way he's dangerous!" I said, reaching into the cage to pet it. It struck like a cobra and tore up my arm. My first on-the-job injury is from a KITTEN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 241

You deserved it 31 754

Today, I was asking my best friend to tell me all the boys she’d had sex with, because I thought she had slept with my boyfriend. She accidentally said my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 580