Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my wife complained that the shower was draining slowly, so I took the drain cover off and snaked the drain. I pulled out a giant blob of reeking, stinking, rotten filth. My wife saw it and screamed. Now she insists she can still smell it on my hands and won't let me near her. FML
Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML
Today, I was doing the laundry and changing the bed sheets. I found most of my underwear under my step daughters bed, when I asked her, she said that she liked the way they smelled. FML
Today, my disgusting coworker made a comment about "women versus accountability" and I couldn't even yell at him for being a sexist scumbucket, because my wife threw coffee at me yesterday for pointing out that she'd left the chips open and they went stale. FML
Today, my wife spent a ton of money she took from me for a very expensive lingerie because, "it makes her feel more feminine and beautiful." Again. All this stuff just gathers dust in her drawers, and she keeps wearing the same ugly raggedy underwear for 3-4 days in a row, which is actually disgusting. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML
Today, I ran out of clean underwear and uncovered the pile of lingerie in the back of the drawer, none of which had been worn in over a year. Thanks, laundry day, for reminding me of how single I am. FML
Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML
Today, my sister-in-law pooped with the bathroom door open until my husband had to tell her to close it, then she came out with unwashed hands and started rooting through the cookies. This isn't even the most unhygienic thing she's done today. FML
Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML
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Top comments
tishtashbat 16
I cannot believe some people make their bodily functions so gross for other people to deal with. why on earth anyone would leave that in their underwear for someone else to deal with is beyond me. it takes seconds to wrap it in tissue and put it in the bin!
Puffpie 24
Ew that's just nasty
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Comments (86)
Nysha 17
I can confirm that food waste is *much* grosser than menstrual blood. The latter doesn't go mushy or grow mold. *shiver*
orangeshels 19
I don't think coffee coffee grounds are even half as gross as used panty liners left on underwear for someone else to clean up.
TabooSushi 24
As someone who works janitorial staff in a place with both food AND bathroom waste, let me tell you: Handling old food is WAY preferable to handling some random person's bodily fluids. The smell of a full sanitary napkin disposal bin is uniquely horrifying. Not to mention the times I've had nasty women stuff their destroyed panties into them, or worse, leave the nasty panties or dirty pads laying OUT IN THE OPEN because the napkin bin was full, rather than just walk an extra ten feet and toss them into the main trash can... Yeah, I'd rather deal with squishy, possibly moldy food than some of the nasty shit humans leave in public bathrooms.
illestrealist 12
Mad props for taking on two jobs like that. There's no way I would touch any of that stuff unless everything is getting burned.
valalvax 13
Panty liners are for wearing so your panties don't get ruined by normal secretions
a1_z9 10
If you don't like it then tell her, you don't have to wait until she brings up something she doesn't appreciate about your behavior! Then it just sounds like petty sniping.
chef4money 12
I agree. I would bring it up right away. If he waits until she starts bitching about something, she may think he is only mentioning it to piss her off.
thejonac 21
it's really a girl's responsibility ro clear those our clothes when we need to, esp when guys are doing the laundry. just have a nice talk and everything'll be fine
rightlessonwrong 17
She should have removed those herself. But I will add that as a woman, I see where she's coming from. Anything on a panty liner is all her, so she can stand it. The coffee grounds, not so much. Would you be grossed out to clean of your used tissue?
invadermaythe1st 35
doesnt mean she can't do it. what else does she want, her husband to wipe her ass too?
VeganVampyre 27
Well yeah, obviously! I mean, wiping your own ass is really just too much work. I don't know how people manage on their own.
kirasant 19
Gross, nasty smelling bloody pads at least a day old? *shudder* I don't care who's fluids it is, it's disgusting to an extreme degree. There were more than one set of undies OP had to clean up so that means this Neanderthal left her used pads laying on the floor for more than a day. That's beyond my comprehension. If I had shat in my underwear, I wouldn't leave that lay on the floor for a couple days and that's "all me" too.
lulinator 40
I'm sorry, #19. You like your bloody tampons and pads? I don't even like changing the damn things, let alone leaving them around for the world to see. I'd rather see my boyfriend's smelly shit in the toilet when he forgets to flush than my pads lying around, even if they were in the garbage.
chef4money 12
So it's ok for him to have to clean up her used panty liners because it doesn't gross her out? That makes no sense at all.
turdoblast 21
Woooow op you are way too nice and considerate, which seems to be a quality your wife is taking advantage of. no one with the capability of dealing with their own bodily secretions should let someone else do it. your wife sounds lazy and awful tbh.
jenn_jenn201 13
As a woman who takes her own panty liners out of her underwear, also does all the laundry and makes the coffee 100% of the time; I can honestly say that I think your wife is plain nasty and lazy. Panty liners to me are way grosser than coffee grounds or my husbands booger tissues...
mandy_2480 21
You're a good husband OP.
brookiesawr 11
how do you sweep something I to a sink? unless you wiped the counter and pushed it in the sink.
shmoooopie 29
You just answered your own question
telli164 30
Unless your wife is physically incapable of disposing of her own sanitary pads herself, which I'm assuming isn't the case here. Then she is one sick lazy woman.
mosquito19 14
coffee grounds don't go in the sink. you two are equally disgusting and lazy.
albertozeta_fml 9
Coffee grounds help to keep clean the drainage system.
rockbandaddict85 22
it also helps sharpen the disposal blades...it's generally not a bad things unless you are on septic and not city.