Poopoo peepee and Miscellaneous: Morning surprise - FML

Morning surprise

By JayBausch - 17/08/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

agreeclassic 51 775

vote type 1 7 071

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Some fun was had

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML

agreeclassic 505

vote type 1 83

By g_unit - 10/12/2009 05:24 - Canada

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

agreeclassic 37 674

vote type 1 2 619

Bad doggy

By life_suxxx - 17/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML

agreeclassic 33 579

vote type 1 4 910

By day001313 - 07/04/2012 04:32 - United States - Albany

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

agreeclassic 26 932

vote type 1 3 364

Thanks for nothing

By Downinthedumps - 14/08/2016 22:44 - United States - Flagstaff

Today, at my hotel, I spent over an hour dumpster diving trying to locate a pair of shorts for a spoiled brat that one of the cleaning staff accidentally threw away. When I finally found and returned them to the family, the father insisted they weren't the right ones. Spent all day smelling of trash. FML

agreeclassic 14 403

vote type 1 1 131

Not so anal retentive then…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2017 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML

agreeclassic 8 364

vote type 1 747

By StinkFoot - 28/10/2018 13:30

Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML

agreeclassic 2 859

vote type 1 379

People are jerks

By Anonymous - 09/07/2021 03:59

Today, I cleaned the two staircases at the hotel where I work. Five minutes later, someone complained they were dirty. Someone had dropped soda and got mud all over them. FML

agreeclassic 922

vote type 1 66

By embarrassed - 19/12/2014 19:24 - United States

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

agreeclassic 31 570

vote type 1 3 933

White Lotus vibes

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 10:00

Today, I had to deal with a guest who'd left his shoes outside his door to be polished. I told him our hotel doesn’t offer shoe polishing, so if they’re gone they must have been stolen. He then accused me of stealing them for myself, even though I’m a woman with feet 6 sizes smaller than his. FML

agreeclassic 962

vote type 1 96

Next

TOP COMMENTS

caitoLo 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:33

someBODY or someTHING?

knd_34 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:48

Nice use of the word "shat". People get that wrong all the time.

Comments

fecking 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:32

LAST.

stereopump 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:52

first to comment on #1, what now.

stereopump 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:53

Also I was the first one to complain about the person replying to #1 replying just to get to the top.

Rakayum 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 3:08

your wife probably did it dude.

cocoapuffshooter 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 3:27

I totally said that when I read it on the main page, then clicked in to comment. You, Rakayum, are my long-lost twin. We should meet up and make funnies at other people.

KiSsKiZzy 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 4:36

Did you put them on???

phlipphoneguy 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 6:28

yo dawg, i heard you liked comments, so i put a comment in your comment so you can rofl while you lol'd

StealthStorm67 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 7:20

Is this X-to the-Z Xzibit?

danyfuckinheatle 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 20:04

win

missmontreal97 4

Wednesday 11 August 2010 14:34

lmao, this actually made me laugh :D

luvzit 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 11:55

lol made me laugh to!!!

bill929 7

Saturday 16 July 2011 15:28

I bet that stinks

caitoLo 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:33

someBODY or someTHING?

live_and_learn 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 22:49

Why would you leave ANY of your belongings outside the door in the hallway of a hotel? That's just asking for something bad to happen. You totally deserve that one man.

fuzzybrownbear 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 4:07

**** dude, i would have done that if i saw shoes sitting outside a room

theta_fml 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:33

You got owned.

yaktazuki 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:33

BAHAHA

blingblaine 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:35

My bad, sorry about that.

str8upmobbin 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:37

hahahahaahahahahahahha.. oh. hahahaahhahahahah

insert_name 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:38

HAHAHA wow, does really suck for you though, my apologies that it happened.

NonImmigrant 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:39

You should make a movie called 1guy1sneaker.

TurdMonkey 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 4:31

please, PLEASE stop with your feeble attempts at wit. This is the second time i've been reading the comments, felt pissed off after reading a post, then looked to see the cum guzzling ****** that said it and saw your ugly ass face. ****** asian disgrace.

sublime93 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 4:42

Lmfaoo #8, bow your head in shame.

mastory96 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:40

hah! maybe it was a dog. who knows. that's hilarious though.

div01 2

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:40

um ...what kind of hotel were u in? damn! so close to first...

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Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, I ordered flowers to be delivered to my workplace on Tuesday. To myself. For my birthday. Because even though birthdays are posted in the monthly newsletter, mine gets left out every year. For the past four years. FML

agreeclassic 12 974

vote type 1 1 114

Today, I bought a new beanbag chair. My cat thought it was a great scratcher and I now have thousands of tiny plastic balls around the house. He decided those looked yummy, and now the scent of vomit and plastic is awful. FML

agreeclassic 36 457

vote type 1 5 676

Today I have to face the fact that either my anatomy is different from other women, or all panties are designed by clueless men: You know that little cotton lining they have? Ever notice how it is invariably placed so that it will catch exactly HALF of the wet patch it is supposed to absorb? FML

agreeclassic 843

vote type 1 186

Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML

agreeclassic 47 260

vote type 1 6 995

Today, I took a part time job at McDonald’s and started working in the kitchen. The floor is so greasy, you can’t walk normally, you move around like you’re on an ice rink. With some momentum built up, you can even slide a couple of meters when no one is looking. FML

agreeclassic 965

vote type 1 180

Today, I found out that my crush and best friend dumped her boyfriend, and she has been sexting two of our male friends who are married, with kids, and has started hooking up with a meth head. Guess I'm losing a lot of friends in the future… FML

agreeclassic 820

vote type 1 161