Poopoo peepee and Miscellaneous: Morning surprise - FML

Morning surprise

By JayBausch - 17/08/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 762

You deserved it 7 065

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Same thing different taste

Some fun was had

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 74

By g_unit - 10/12/2009 05:24 - Canada

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 656

You deserved it 2 615

By day001313 - 07/04/2012 04:32 - United States - Albany

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 907

You deserved it 3 351

Thanks for nothing

By Downinthedumps - 14/08/2016 22:44 - United States - Flagstaff

Today, at my hotel, I spent over an hour dumpster diving trying to locate a pair of shorts for a spoiled brat that one of the cleaning staff accidentally threw away. When I finally found and returned them to the family, the father insisted they weren't the right ones. Spent all day smelling of trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 382

You deserved it 1 130

By life_suxxx - 17/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 557

You deserved it 4 902

Not so anal retentive then…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2017 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 351

You deserved it 741

By StinkFoot - 28/10/2018 13:30

Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 852

You deserved it 373

People are jerks

By Anonymous - 09/07/2021 03:59

Today, I cleaned the two staircases at the hotel where I work. Five minutes later, someone complained they were dirty. Someone had dropped soda and got mud all over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 66

By embarrassed - 19/12/2014 19:24 - United States

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 555

You deserved it 3 929

White Lotus vibes

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 10:00

Today, I had to deal with a guest who'd left his shoes outside his door to be polished. I told him our hotel doesn’t offer shoe polishing, so if they’re gone they must have been stolen. He then accused me of stealing them for myself, even though I’m a woman with feet 6 sizes smaller than his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 92

Next

Top comments

caitoLo 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:33

someBODY or someTHING?

knd_34 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:48

Nice use of the word "shat". People get that wrong all the time.

Comments

fecking 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:32

LAST.

stereopump 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:52

first to comment on #1, what now.

stereopump 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:53

Also I was the first one to complain about the person replying to #1 replying just to get to the top.

Rakayum 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 3:08

your wife probably did it dude.

cocoapuffshooter 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 3:27

I totally said that when I read it on the main page, then clicked in to comment. You, Rakayum, are my long-lost twin. We should meet up and make funnies at other people.

KiSsKiZzy 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 4:36

Did you put them on???

phlipphoneguy 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 6:28

yo dawg, i heard you liked comments, so i put a comment in your comment so you can rofl while you lol'd

StealthStorm67 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 7:20

Is this X-to the-Z Xzibit?

danyfuckinheatle 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 20:04

win

missmontreal97 4

Wednesday 11 August 2010 14:34

lmao, this actually made me laugh :D

luvzit 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 11:55

lol made me laugh to!!!

bill929 7

Saturday 16 July 2011 15:28

I bet that stinks

caitoLo 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:33

someBODY or someTHING?

live_and_learn 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 22:49

Why would you leave ANY of your belongings outside the door in the hallway of a hotel? That's just asking for something bad to happen. You totally deserve that one man.

fuzzybrownbear 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 4:07

**** dude, i would have done that if i saw shoes sitting outside a room

theta_fml 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:33

You got owned.

yaktazuki 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:33

BAHAHA

blingblaine 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:35

My bad, sorry about that.

str8upmobbin 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:37

hahahahaahahahahahahha.. oh. hahahaahhahahahah

insert_name 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:38

HAHAHA wow, does really suck for you though, my apologies that it happened.

NonImmigrant 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:39

You should make a movie called 1guy1sneaker.

TurdMonkey 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 4:31

please, PLEASE stop with your feeble attempts at wit. This is the second time i've been reading the comments, felt pissed off after reading a post, then looked to see the cum guzzling ****** that said it and saw your ugly ass face. ****** asian disgrace.

sublime93 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 4:42

Lmfaoo #8, bow your head in shame.

mastory96 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:40

hah! maybe it was a dog. who knows. that's hilarious though.

div01 2

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:40

um ...what kind of hotel were u in? damn! so close to first...

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Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, my car broke down and had to be towed to the dealership. Normally, this would be just unlucky but I work with kids and we had been fundraising for charity. I am now sitting at the dealership with my hair coloured purple, red and blue and in ridiculously high pigtails while people stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 283

You deserved it 2 640

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 729

You deserved it 53 106

The Top

Today, I found out that aside from being savagely overworked and treated like shit for zero pay, another one of my responsibilities as an intern is to take the blame for my boss accidentally posting a link to a porn site on the company's Twitter account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 221

You deserved it 1 826

Today, I checked my ex's profile for the first time since we broke up a few months ago. He's dating a girl who's so pretty, and he looks so happy. He started dating her about 3 weeks after we broke up and when I broke up with him he wasn't upset at all. He had been ignoring me for weeks, and forgot our anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 263

Today, for my birthday, my friend bought me a book on how to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 374

You deserved it 3 390

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 492

You deserved it 5 102

Today, during foreplay, my husband asked if I found him sexually attractive. When I asked him back, after a yes, he was silent for two minutes then went into a ten-minute philosophical discussion on the nature of attractiveness. He would find me more attractive if I wasn't his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 687

You deserved it 326

Today, a co-worker passed me a note with information about one of our cute, new co-workers I was interested in. Her report? Simple: "Lesbian. Try again. They're EVERYWHERE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 165

You deserved it 3 676