Poopoo peepee and Miscellaneous: Morning surprise - FML

Morning surprise

By JayBausch - 17/08/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 752

You deserved it 7 060

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Same thing different taste

By g_unit - 10/12/2009 05:24 - Canada

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 646

You deserved it 2 614

By day001313 - 07/04/2012 04:32 - United States - Albany

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 898

You deserved it 3 346

Thanks for nothing

By Downinthedumps - 14/08/2016 22:44 - United States - Flagstaff

Today, at my hotel, I spent over an hour dumpster diving trying to locate a pair of shorts for a spoiled brat that one of the cleaning staff accidentally threw away. When I finally found and returned them to the family, the father insisted they weren't the right ones. Spent all day smelling of trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 373

You deserved it 1 125

By life_suxxx - 17/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 549

You deserved it 4 899

Not so anal retentive then…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2017 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 343

You deserved it 733

By StinkFoot - 28/10/2018 13:30

Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 847

You deserved it 371

People are jerks

By Anonymous - 09/07/2021 03:59

Today, I cleaned the two staircases at the hotel where I work. Five minutes later, someone complained they were dirty. Someone had dropped soda and got mud all over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 65

By embarrassed - 19/12/2014 19:24 - United States

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 541

You deserved it 3 919

White Lotus vibes

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 10:00

Today, I had to deal with a guest who'd left his shoes outside his door to be polished. I told him our hotel doesn’t offer shoe polishing, so if they’re gone they must have been stolen. He then accused me of stealing them for myself, even though I’m a woman with feet 6 sizes smaller than his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 69

By Stinky - 20/11/2011 10:23 - United States

Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 183

You deserved it 4 892

Next

Top comments

caitoLo 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:33

someBODY or someTHING?

knd_34 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:48

Nice use of the word "shat". People get that wrong all the time.

Comments

fecking 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:32

LAST.

stereopump 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:52

first to comment on #1, what now.

stereopump 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:53

Also I was the first one to complain about the person replying to #1 replying just to get to the top.

Rakayum 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 3:08

your wife probably did it dude.

cocoapuffshooter 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 3:27

I totally said that when I read it on the main page, then clicked in to comment. You, Rakayum, are my long-lost twin. We should meet up and make funnies at other people.

KiSsKiZzy 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 4:36

Did you put them on???

phlipphoneguy 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 6:28

yo dawg, i heard you liked comments, so i put a comment in your comment so you can rofl while you lol'd

StealthStorm67 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 7:20

Is this X-to the-Z Xzibit?

danyfuckinheatle 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 20:04

win

missmontreal97 4

Wednesday 11 August 2010 14:34

lmao, this actually made me laugh :D

luvzit 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 11:55

lol made me laugh to!!!

bill929 7

Saturday 16 July 2011 15:28

I bet that stinks

caitoLo 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:33

someBODY or someTHING?

live_and_learn 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 22:49

Why would you leave ANY of your belongings outside the door in the hallway of a hotel? That's just asking for something bad to happen. You totally deserve that one man.

fuzzybrownbear 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 4:07

**** dude, i would have done that if i saw shoes sitting outside a room

theta_fml 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:33

You got owned.

yaktazuki 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:33

BAHAHA

blingblaine 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:35

My bad, sorry about that.

str8upmobbin 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:37

hahahahaahahahahahahha.. oh. hahahaahhahahahah

insert_name 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:38

HAHAHA wow, does really suck for you though, my apologies that it happened.

NonImmigrant 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:39

You should make a movie called 1guy1sneaker.

TurdMonkey 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 4:31

please, PLEASE stop with your feeble attempts at wit. This is the second time i've been reading the comments, felt pissed off after reading a post, then looked to see the cum guzzling ****** that said it and saw your ugly ass face. ****** asian disgrace.

sublime93 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 4:42

Lmfaoo #8, bow your head in shame.

mastory96 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:40

hah! maybe it was a dog. who knows. that's hilarious though.

div01 2

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:40

um ...what kind of hotel were u in? damn! so close to first...

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Keywords

Work Awkward Parents Relatable Job interview Facebook Social Media Jealousy Love Relationship advice Friends AITA Kids Shoes Annoying Roommate Music Names Customers Education Capitalism Money Gamers Weird Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Allergies Dogs Singing

The Top

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 914

You deserved it 44 864

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 63

The Top

Today, and for the past month, I've been feeling lightheaded from a breathing problem. I've now been prescribed a medication to help with my anxiety and my breathing issue, which would in turn help stop me from getting so lightheaded. The side effect of said medication: lightheadedness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 862

You deserved it 290

Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 193

You deserved it 46 171

Today, my husband announced that he was fed up with us being known as the neighborhood slobs, and prepared to take down all the Christmas decorations still up from last year. He then decided it was too much effort, and that he'd leave them up to give us a three month head-start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 620

You deserved it 6 327

Today, my boyfriend is spending a lot of time hyping up his female best friend who is participating in a modeling competition, trying to get her to win. When I asked this guy to help support my small business, he said he, “didn’t have time” to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 157

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 299

You deserved it 9 950

Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 843

You deserved it 9 767