Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet, and then fling it at me. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that it’s weird to defecate into your hand and throw it from the shower into the toilet. FML
Today, I told my mom that the puppy she was cuddling had a piece of dried poo stuck to its butt. Her reaction was to pluck the poo with her bare hands, put it on the coffee table next to my food, and continue cuddling. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, my housemate whined at me for tracking dirt into the house, saying how she shouldn't have to mop the floor after me, and that we have a doormat for a reason. She'd have a point, except I always walk barefoot indoors. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML
Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught me using my T-shirt as a tissue. Again. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure when the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds, because "they love skin." She then described for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML
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Top comments
tacojauns 45
At least she's not eating them?
liv_graham 7
buy her a pumice stone and a garbage can
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Comments (84)
BigShOtz07 5
This is almost as bad as someone clipping their finger nails in public.
lilhellian 27
How is that bad?
GigaPudding_fml 24
I once had an old lady clip her toe nails in front of me on the train. It was bad. *Shudders*
TwiztedYuri 9
not as bad as a guy picking pubes out of his braces on the subway wearing a speedo and military boots
laurenlovesjb 20
That is so disgusting. Ugh. Who peels their feet and lays the picking on the table??? Especially if they live with someone else. How inconsiderate!
tjv3 10
That's gross yo
ohgeejosee 19
I agree, that's very disgusting and inconsiderate of your girlfriend. Sorry OP.
Storia30 9
I agree that's funky, talk to ur chick homie;)
MuseFan1991 14
my father in law does it. makes me feel physically sick. get her a pumice stone or a foot file, and some moisturiser. they're my 2 new favourite toys :)
Misskayfoyer 14
#2- That's not the worst of it. I was at a sleep over with a couple friends. We were about to go to bed when I noticed one of the girls picking off the dead skin off he foot and eating it... I can understand if we were little kids, but we were all about 15....
raesos91 26
corn flakes!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Yep! The cereal of athletes...foot.
liv_graham 7
buy her a pumice stone and a garbage can
TourettesGuyFTW 26
And a book on manners, perhaps?
aimbug 42
Great idea!
notjanedoe 27
I hate to teach by example in cases like these but maybe you should leaves something equally disgusting around until she stops?
raesos91 26
that's like trying to stop violence with violence.
bubbalax9 9
#25 sadly enough, that's how the world functions now-a-days. The perverse logic of retribution seems to be fairly universal...
tacojauns 45
At least she's not eating them?
NurseJonathan 9
Like Goldmember?
etishuman22 32
Haha that's the first thing I thought when I read the FML. I like gooooold!
BellaBelle_fml 23
I once saw a girl chew off her toe nails and used the biggest shard as a spoon to eat her ice cream with. It was beyond disgusting.
SS99_fml 20
Yuck...man that sucks....best way to get her to stop is to sit her down and have a serious talk with her so she can know that you really don't like that :/ best of luck OP!
LaLince 40
A serious talk? Ah ah ah
unknown_user5566 27
This is an example of what happens when someone in a relationship becomes TOO comfortable with their partner. Ick. Buy her some intensive healing lotion and one of those Ped Egg things to help keep her feet, and your coffee table, free of dry skin.
McNikk 15
Does she also wipe her boogers on the bathroom wall?
eshelawn 6
Call me inconsiderate but a chick that nasty should be dumped on the spot.
Dilwann 27
I agree, but it's equally nasty when a guy does that... Although breaking up just for one nasty habit seems like overkill.
HowieDoIt 21
Inconsiderate.