Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, was very chilly. My little sister felt sorry for my two goldfish swimming in the cold water. She decided to put them in hot water. They died. FML
Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML
Today, my 9 year-old little sister is coming back to town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML
Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML
Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML
Today, my friend is furious with me because while I was watching her various fish for two weeks, I failed to feed her favorite fish and it died. The reason I didn't take care of it was because she never told me she had it, that it was in her room unlike the rest of the fish, so I never saw it. FML
Today, while doing some spring cleaning, I found the remains of my goldfish, which I was sure my cat ate last year. FML
Today, I received a few new fish for my aquarium as presents for my birthday. It just so happened that these fish were carrying diseases that left me with a tank full of dead fish. Happy birthday. FML
Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML
Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
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Top comments
giselless 5
I killed six goldfish when I was younger. I think I fed them too much.
spencerchu 0
alright @71 a goldfish lifespan is definitly not 6 months where the hell u get that from?
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Comments (204)
samadams42 0
This is my best trophy kill right here lol.
CewkieMonster 0
maybe it didn't like living under your care... so it commit suicide :|
aLaNx431O 0
Haha wouldnt that be cool to walk into someones home and see that framed up? ^__^
nate_msm 0
did you know 9 times out of 10 gold fish are not dead when they are floating at the top of the water, they are usually just trying to recover from over feeding, gold fish sink when dead
KMilliron 2
****. Just ****. Do you know how many goldfish could've been saved with this knowledge?!
kinga08 0
Isn't that some sort of knowledge that the pet store should provide the goldfish buyer? Or maybe the goldfish are all planning a scheme, like Nemo and the rest of the dentist's fish, so that they can be set free.
KMilliron 2
Conspirators!! Every last one of them!
Angel_of_Death66 0
i wish they were conspiring. . jus most ppl flush them down the toilet how fun... lol
nate_msm 0
lol they probably should but pet store clerks are not the brightest. well from my experience with them anyway lol. as for them planing something well let's just say they have there memory is jot quite as bad as everyone thinks
sailorzoe 14
wow. I feel like a horrible person now.
nate_msm 0
awk don't feel bad. it's a very common mistake. I've made it myself it wasn't untill last year I found out that information from a marine biologist.
FinnaHolla 0
you're comments tend to make me smile
sweetandsexy 0
hahah!
ruben_A_ruiz 0
Same here out seems like gold fish die so easily they never last longer than 6 months
quadder 0
up the irons!!!
Avenged7Gabe 0
I don't think your funny boners
Azrukal 0
he has some pretty good moments.
_MannyxAmbition 0
Your comment : LOLL.