Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, was very chilly. My little sister felt sorry for my two goldfish swimming in the cold water. She decided to put them in hot water. They died. FML
Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML
Today, my 9 year-old little sister is coming back to town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML
Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML
Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML
Today, my friend is furious with me because while I was watching her various fish for two weeks, I failed to feed her favorite fish and it died. The reason I didn't take care of it was because she never told me she had it, that it was in her room unlike the rest of the fish, so I never saw it. FML
Today, while doing some spring cleaning, I found the remains of my goldfish, which I was sure my cat ate last year. FML
Today, I received a few new fish for my aquarium as presents for my birthday. It just so happened that these fish were carrying diseases that left me with a tank full of dead fish. Happy birthday. FML
Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML
Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
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Top comments
giselless 5
I killed six goldfish when I was younger. I think I fed them too much.
spencerchu 0
alright @71 a goldfish lifespan is definitly not 6 months where the hell u get that from?
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Comments (204)
guitarist1071995 0
it's called food bro
xSnow 0
I had a fish named bubbles when I was little. She lived to be over 7:) Then she got a tumor:(
azrael_xx 14
that's nice of her, I should get my sister one. her fishies didn't even last a week :/
khaya 9
Here fishy fishy, here fishy fishy. Whoops another one dead lol.
rattusrattus 19
You are the child of the nightmares! You spread chaos and destruction wherever you go! ... Isn't it OBVIOUS?!
ArianaGlove 0
lol in 4th grade I gave my friend nic a little toy poodle and he went to the bathroom at skool to take it a bath and he dropped it in the soap thing so me and my friend called him 'poodle murderer' , it's still in there today.
account_name 0
144 ur gay and i wanna light you on fire
boredinnapoleon 0
african-claw frog from Walmart...they told me 3 weeks-3 months...things lived almost 3 years...
randomreader2315 4
Walmart employees do not know SHIT about their livestock.
love_me_electric 20
I never buy fish at walmart anymore. Everytime I go all their fish are sick and the algea eaters bellies are caved in because no one ever gives them food :( You have to be careful with regular pet stores too though, sometimes they hire people who are just plain dumb. I once had someone tell me I could keep a goldfish and an angelfish together. Uh, NO. It's no wonder so many pets die when the people selling them don't even know what the hell they're talking about.
MourningLight 2
get a real fish. goldfish suck
dragonballz_fml 3
u murderer :)