Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, was very chilly. My little sister felt sorry for my two goldfish swimming in the cold water. She decided to put them in hot water. They died. FML
Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML
Today, my 9 year-old little sister is coming back to town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML
Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML
Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML
Today, my friend is furious with me because while I was watching her various fish for two weeks, I failed to feed her favorite fish and it died. The reason I didn't take care of it was because she never told me she had it, that it was in her room unlike the rest of the fish, so I never saw it. FML
Today, while doing some spring cleaning, I found the remains of my goldfish, which I was sure my cat ate last year. FML
Today, I received a few new fish for my aquarium as presents for my birthday. It just so happened that these fish were carrying diseases that left me with a tank full of dead fish. Happy birthday. FML
Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML
Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
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Top comments
giselless 5
I killed six goldfish when I was younger. I think I fed them too much.
spencerchu 0
alright @71 a goldfish lifespan is definitly not 6 months where the hell u get that from?
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Comments (204)
asnakelovinbabe 16
you probably had it in a bowl... like all of the other morons out there who think it's acceptable. goldfish don't belong in bowls people... and that's not how they are. healthy goldfish live 15 years and longer! And they don't stay small either! YDI unless you had it in a tank with filtration and adequate space.
randomreader2315 4
THANK YOU! your comment made my day!!!
MourningLight 2
a goldfish is fine in a bowl. they suck anyway so y waste the damn money on a tank and filter?
Lauaries8 16
Every time goldfish breathe they secrete a film which floats to the top of the bowl. Without proper filtration, if enough of the film gathers, it can cut off the oxygen supply for the fish and it will suffocate.
Dogluvr1197 30
It also could've been the ammonia; the goldfish couldn't have been in the bowl for that long, and knowing how messy goldfish are, it could have died of ammonia poisoning.
iOwnYou_2 0
Awwe my fish jumped out of its tank a few days ago and I just now found it dried up dead on the carpet.
ILoveEggnog 7
Do you not feed it? Why did it take you so long to find it?
iOwnYou_2 0
#177 I did feed it, it likes to hide in its cave and doesn't come out when I feed it so I didn't notice. I just felt that i hadn't seen it in a while so I started to look for it.
IAmOtter 0
try putting them in water.
mandymoomoo 0
goldfish die so easy because they are too restricted. they need a tank with a filtration system. they grow to be pretty big if you take care of it right.
randomreader2315 4
EXACTLY. Idiots and their bowls...>.<
italianstl 0
Shit happens
denvan 0
wow PETA will be after you "pet killer" tsk tsk
Sporkforce 0
With every comment I'm reminded more and more of the wonders of abortion, and the necessity of time machines.
CommonSenseKarma 17
whyserious, I think "Do you have online?" was referring to how you mentioned Xbox in your bio. Do you have Xbox LIVE... I lolz at all this cuz my sister is a failure at trying to keep fish alive... there should be a marble wall memorial for them all ;D
Cheesehead72 0
lol, how did this get past moderation?
hamsmum 2
I have owned 4 budgies, 3 crazy crabs and 3 fish and managed to have all die with in 3 months. Luckily for me I have had a better track record with my son and cat hahaha. They call fish 'disposable pets' for a reason. Because they die so easily.
Angel_of_Death66 0
well u would die if u were forced to live in ur own shit in a tiny bowl while the idiot kept feeding you to much