Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, was very chilly. My little sister felt sorry for my two goldfish swimming in the cold water. She decided to put them in hot water. They died. FML
Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML
Today, my 9 year-old little sister is coming back to town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML
Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML
Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML
Today, my friend is furious with me because while I was watching her various fish for two weeks, I failed to feed her favorite fish and it died. The reason I didn't take care of it was because she never told me she had it, that it was in her room unlike the rest of the fish, so I never saw it. FML
Today, while doing some spring cleaning, I found the remains of my goldfish, which I was sure my cat ate last year. FML
Today, I received a few new fish for my aquarium as presents for my birthday. It just so happened that these fish were carrying diseases that left me with a tank full of dead fish. Happy birthday. FML
Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML
Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
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Top comments
giselless 5
I killed six goldfish when I was younger. I think I fed them too much.
spencerchu 0
alright @71 a goldfish lifespan is definitly not 6 months where the hell u get that from?
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Comments (204)
SirEBC 7
Wow, I've seen "you're" substituted with "your" and vice versa, but never before I have seen both variants done in 2 consecutive comments! I feel like a new woman!
Laughing_Cow 0
Poor goldfish
aardvarkish 17
Remember the good old days when we would swallow goldfish?
Laughing_Cow 0
no not really
aardvarkish 17
Little Rascals reruns...
derekahlers 4
that's to funny buy another one its that easy
SirEBC 7
I resent that.
KiddNYC1O 22
That's weak, my cousin keeps the corpse of her frog wrapped in paper towel... no joke.
SirEBC 7
I can never stay mad at you..
sphinx420 0
Ew pet frogs
ASHLEYbcddd 0
Suprisingly my goldfish is very big and has been living 6 almost 7 years now :]]] Sorry op take better care of it lol ^.^
DocBastard 40
Boners, I think you're funny. Looking! Funny looking! Yeah, I went all second grade on yo ass, bitch.