Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, was very chilly. My little sister felt sorry for my two goldfish swimming in the cold water. She decided to put them in hot water. They died. FML
Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML
Today, my 9 year-old little sister is coming back to town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML
Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML
Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML
Today, my friend is furious with me because while I was watching her various fish for two weeks, I failed to feed her favorite fish and it died. The reason I didn't take care of it was because she never told me she had it, that it was in her room unlike the rest of the fish, so I never saw it. FML
Today, while doing some spring cleaning, I found the remains of my goldfish, which I was sure my cat ate last year. FML
Today, I received a few new fish for my aquarium as presents for my birthday. It just so happened that these fish were carrying diseases that left me with a tank full of dead fish. Happy birthday. FML
Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML
Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
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Top comments
giselless 5
I killed six goldfish when I was younger. I think I fed them too much.
spencerchu 0
alright @71 a goldfish lifespan is definitly not 6 months where the hell u get that from?
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Comments (204)
FinnaHolla 0
I remember my toilet was clogged and my goldfish died so I tried to flush it down. then I had to un-stuff the toilet but I didn't know the fish didn't go down so fish guts started floating up on the toilet. It was a fun dat
kinga08 0
Yum.
Angel_of_Death66 0
ewwwwwwwwww
perdix 31
So, when's your day to watch Mom?
quadder 0
it's a goldfish there cheap for a reason
quadder 0
I buy em a dozen at a time as feeders for my piranhas
awardZu 0
I feed them to my lionfish! It's great to watch him snap them up!
quadder 0
I agree it's very entertaining
Capt_Awesome137 0
I've killed 5 of my pet dogs and I haven't got an award :(
sphinx420 0
you should be banned from having pets
vip3r20 8
how do kill a dog??? that's practically impossible, unless you did it on purpose...O_o only reason I can see is like running it over on accident
Capt_Awesome137 0
jk.......didn't realize I forgot to add that at the end. like I would really kill 5 dogs :/
Capt_Awesome137 0
its almost like you people don't even know me.
sepdps 0
That happened to me one time...my mama and I were leavin for school and our corgi was underneath the car:,( RIP Ellie!! <3 :,'(
dyates27 0
jerk!! jk :(
the_hypnotoad 5
Actually, goldfish can live 10-20 years with proper care. I think the record is 43 years.
KMilliron 2
Random fact time: they can also grow up to a foot long if given a larger space. They basically grow as much as they're comfortable with given their living space, and then just stop. :D Being a nerd ftw.
larzieboy 0
haha id be awesome to see peoples reactions
nbowe825 1
If it's any consolation those fuckerz croak if u look at them wrong lol
randomreader2315 4
Let me guess...you're keeping more than one goldfish in a BOWL instead of a tank with a filtration system?