By killer - Latvia
Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
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  alliewillie  |  22

As for the goldfish - they can go FAR more than 3 days without food and they won't die. That's not what killed it. Something tells me you're way more neglectful than that.

  niall92  |  6

144 - yeah exactly. someone who know what they're doing is someone who knows how to phrase their responses ambiguously enough for them to apply to anyone.