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  Ouroboros_fml  |  0

Dear OP,

if ever you see ants in your apartment, here is what needs to happen:

A) Use sugar water and maltomeal to get the ants interested in your roommate's room

B) Using the same technique, get the ants interested in her purse, her laptop, and her bed (unless she is allergic to their bites, something she will mention once they begin to appear in her room)

Ants may not be entirely appropriate, or she may be allergic, thus this revenge would be off limits.

you could obstruct her door and window on a vey important work date of hers;

give her a 'let's make up and be friends' baked good with mixed sleeping medication and laxitives;

go to her workplace, pretend to be a customer, and claimed she outright stole money from you, or did something else she would get fired for;

remove most of the stitching on the bottom of her purse;

or something along these lines...

the idea is to show her she fucked with the wrong person, pull out the big guns, play mean, play dirty, but be discreet, act innocent and oblivious to any potential cause of her problems. Don't get even, collect interest.

  MrSassypants  |  32

I wish this FML kept on going and make me laugh more. like this

we played scramble because my ps3 wasn't working. it wasn't working cuz my friend broke it. he broke it cuz he thought I was his girlfriend was cheating with me. he thought that cuz I texted her wassup. I did that cuz I was bored....

Moments later...

that happened cuz I was born. I was born cuz my mom and dad got giggity. they did it cuz they were bored. they were bored cuz they didn't have a child so there you have it. FML