By and she doesn't even give bjs - 09/02/2013 00:44 - Argentina - Buenos Aires

Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 250
You deserved it 5 233

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Please do not let her breed offspring!!!!

Yeah, Hitler DEFINITELY killed Jesus...after all, he WAS Jewish...


Please do not let her breed offspring!!!!

How will she breed if she doesn't even do bj's..

So OP should forcibly sterilize his girlfriend because she's stupid? Gee, that sounds strangely familiar...

#28 at least you admit it. I always thought you were smart...

Hmmm, Icastillo. Maybe I'm just being stupid myself, but I'm wondering if you understood the historical reference I made, or if you are being very subtly sarcastic.

Ohh sorry I didn't understand your reference. I thought you were just talking bad about yourself. I was just trying to pick you up, you know?

Aw, well that's sweet of you. Thanks, Icastillo. I feel better already.

Yup no prob, I'm glad I can help. I better leave now before people start to think I'm nice.

Well we certainly wouldn't want that! :O

Lilhellian umm you don't have kids by giving better tell your sex Ed teacher that he/she is very stupid.

MikeonFML 17

He's assuming that if she won't give ******** she probably won't leapfrog and go straight to sex

Maybe she's right, and the world as we know it is all a lie...

erockinthesuburb 17

Now begins the ultimate question... Who would win in a fight. Jesus vs Hitler?

Although it would be an interesting battle in the youtube channel Rap Battles of History.

14, Don't mistake Jesus for a wuss. He's been known to flip over tables.

Well you can't prove hitler didnt kill Jesus.

#79. You can't prove that I can't fly, but we all know I'm full of shit when I claim I can.

dmoran20 27

According to googlefight Jesus wins with an overwhelming victory but then loses to Obama... It's a cruel world!

Break up with her...considering she is...lets go with ignorant that sounds nice...but seriously...How stupid is she?

What is with... all of your... ellipses...?

Well I's the new write a comment...and be cool...around here.

When you like this.....I imagine....someone....talking..... while enjoying themselves in one of those spinning rides at the fair.

#3 just because shes dumb doesnt mean she needs to be alone, it just means she needs a bible and a history book thrown at her, why is it that almost every relationship fml ends with at least one dumbass commenting "break their heart" this is a cruel thing to say or do to someone no matter their IQ

How does throwing books at people make them smart?

So because someone isn't an Einstein she should never be able to have a partner? Maybe your boyfriend should leave you for being such a shallow bitch?

Many serious relationships rely on there being an intellectual connection in addition to emotional and physical ones. Since OP is appalled, presumably he thought/expected there was one and maybe he is only looking for a serious relationship right now. And sometimes - just sometimes - people do look for more intelligent partners with whom to have children.

CharresBarkrey 15

70 - Wanting to be with someone who is intelligent is the exact opposite of being shallow...

@58 Doesn't mean it isn't a valid comment, besides the whole intellectual argument above. In so many of these fml length of relationship isn't stated. If they have only been dating for a month then I would hardly say hearts would be broken.

#70 - There is a huge difference between being Einstein and knowing that Jesus was not killed by Hitler. You don't need to be a genius to know the latter. You just have to not be a complete moron.

58 does make a valid point though; unintelligent people need love too. c:

134 Oh,I can see how she would have come to that conclusion. Although it doesn't take all that much intelligence to know, if nothing else, that there's a huge time difference between them.

You mean... That's not what really happened?

wlddog 14

Ok... Now I am confused. I thought I was the center of the universe and everything that happened before I was born was all smashed together. Then I was born, and things finally became important. Now based on that line of thought, Hitler and Jesus did actually fight it out, but the cowboys and the indians kept getting in the way. This wouldn't have been a problem, except the dinosaurs figured out how to make cars, and the car smog killed them. Once the Roman empire knocked the cave men out of the ice-age, things did calm down enough to invent electricity. That is when i parents met and decided to give birth to the center of the universe. Study up boys and girls, there is a teat next week.

wlddog 14

I just hope it not a spelling teat... Er, test*.

chelsearenaeee 16

With that logic, i hope someone breaks your heart because thats a stupid suggestion, its not your relationship, in this case he needs to sit her down and do what the education system failed to do, teach her history

If she thinks Jesus and Hitler were together with the apparent conviction she has, don't you think her situation is hopeless?

No she must be dumped ... And fully it would be shallow to keep such an epic moron just sex ...

chelsearenaeee 16

She needs some major education and I do feel bad for her, but my point is if you're posting about her on fml and obviously can't stand her, break it off. And no thanks #59, I'm in a very happy, healthy relationship but thank you for your nasty remarks

Not only does she not know anything she does not give BJ's!

No, let's see how far she can get being that incomparably ignorant. (Though being shot isn't out of the question.)

Do not have children with her. The world can't afford anymore dumbassery.

Yeah, Hitler DEFINITELY killed Jesus...after all, he WAS Jewish...

yoursucklives 36
Shadow_Phantom 26

#103; he was until he was baptized. there was no other religion. ignorance at its finest.

#109 actually there was Hinduism. Both Judaism and Hinduism are the first know religious, but no one exactly knows which one came first.

He DID kill Kill him, after Jesus was betrayed by Indiana Jones.

Lol #103. Don't do a face palm and then follow it up with a sentence worthy of 10 consecutive face palms.

She needs to read a Bible AND a textbook.

Or just a textbook. She seems to have enough trouble determining reality without the confusion of mysticism.

She'll probably need someone to read those to her. Does Mein Kampf come in audio book?

Laurenlou 24

86- Jesus was real person who walked on this earth. Whether someone wants to believe that Jesus is actually the son of God is their choice, but historically, the Bible is correct.

You're right. So why need a bible when you'll clearly find out about Jesus in actual historical books... You can believe what you wish, but the bible is not historically accurate whether you believe it to be, or not.

115 - Including the rising from the dead part? Well, damn. I should re-read The Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z, I'll need a refreshed memory. Sarcasm aside, I'm happy to accept Jesus was a real person. But calling the Bible historically accurate is a real stretch.

dmoran20 27

Because it was written in a book proves he walked the earth? It was also written that there were WMD's in Iraq. We all know how that turned out...

#158 Actually there dad got to find/dispose of a few of them himself...

rachilio 26