Health: Today, my parents were ecstatic about sending me to an amazingly... - FML

By Sally - 13/07/2010 09:22 - United States

Today, my parents were ecstatic about sending me to an amazingly fun camp. I didn't know until I got there that it was a fat camp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 880

You deserved it 13 270

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Mother of the year

Transference

Vengeance is mine

By shitty neighbor - 25/07/2021 10:01 - United States

Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 379

By rubmytummy - 10/06/2009 21:12 - United States

Today, I was helping my church clean up a park. I was given a sledgehammer and told to break up a concrete picnic table so we could haul it off. About half way through I swung the sledgehammer REALLY hard, completely missed the table, and hit myself in the shin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 723

You deserved it 23 294

Technique

By onlyintx - 19/07/2021 11:01

Today, after 3 days of vigorously scrubbing primer on the walls with a painting roller, I finally realized that simply re-wetting the roller after each stroke is the correct and easier way. Dang, can I be slow to catch on sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 882

Thanks, Dave

By Anonymous - 23/11/2019 14:00

Today, I opened the door to a delivery girl with a towel around my waist as I was just out of the shower. My dog was going crazy at the courier, and when she handed me the touchpad to sign for the package, my dog decided it would be a good idea to pull my towel off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 153

You deserved it 1 062

By saywhatnow - 25/11/2009 20:26 - United States

Today, a man stopped me to tell me I was the most beautiful woman he'd seen all day. He promptly followed that up with: "Then again, you are the only woman I've seen today, so, it can only go up from here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 414

You deserved it 3 163

By Carnage23 - 22/11/2014 10:16 - Germany - Essen

Today, my coworker and I announced that we are spending our holidays together, because we both have kids. My boss announced he is coming with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 064

You deserved it 3 988

Territorial

By grow up! - 07/08/2021 14:01

Spicy

Today, I went back home for a visit after nearly 10 years. I met up with some old friends at a bar and had an amazing evening. Afterwards, two of the wives told me I’m never allowed to speak to, nor see their husbands again, since I slept with them in high school. This was years before they even met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 168

By Eddie - 07/08/2011 19:43 - Israel

Spicy

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 793

You deserved it 4 895

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 14:00

Today, it's my 21st birthday. The only person who drank with me was my elementary school principal, who I happened to run into at a bar where we were the only two people there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 820

You deserved it 186

By Anonymous - 27/04/2013 16:35 - Denmark

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he says I need to learn how to be happy without relying on him. I'm not a clinger, I'm just unhappy because my dad recently passed away, my best friend turned on me, and I lost out on the exchange program of my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 190

You deserved it 4 090

By asianlover - 30/06/2011 07:24 - Finland

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 085

You deserved it 5 230

Oh nooooo

By Fucked. - 26/04/2021 07:59

Today, my supervisor at work is now my father-in-law. My girlfriend told me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 155

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 04:41 - United States

Today, I received my acceptance letter to one of the most prestigious universities in the US, as well as a nice scholarship. I was so proud of myself, I eagerly showed my dad, hoping he would shed a tear or two. His only words were, "Just get a job so you can get the hell out of my house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 633

You deserved it 3 767

By Anonymous - 17/10/2015 04:00 - United Kingdom - Nuneaton

Today, I found out that my fiancé's sister, who only got engaged a couple of months ago, is getting married before us. I wouldn't have a problem with this if she wasn't planning her wedding to be exactly like ours will be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 645

You deserved it 1 874

By militarywife2b - 14/12/2009 20:23 - France

Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch". I had to wash his plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 664

You deserved it 2 165

By fthislyfe - 18/07/2011 07:09 - Netherlands

Today, in an amphitheater, someone hit the back of my head. As I turned around, the guy apologized and said he mistook me for his friend. I changed seats, and after a while, I got hit a second time. He was wrong again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 403

You deserved it 3 819

By hgirl - 28/01/2009 21:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he watched True Life I'm Pregnant. Now I know why we haven't been having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 412

You deserved it 3 299

By pussyOUT - 01/09/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 150

You deserved it 16 045

By BetrayedGirl - 13/01/2010 12:40 - United States

Today, my friend told me men can't be trusted. I told her that wasn't true; I have my husband's password to his email but I never check it because I trust him. She bet me he was doing something bad, and to prove her wrong I looked. Turns out he has been cheating on me for 8 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 785

You deserved it 5 489

By wtf - 30/01/2015 09:00 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 529

You deserved it 2 628

By blonde - 29/09/2010 07:08 - Australia

Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 849

You deserved it 6 530

By anonymous - 04/09/2016 22:12 - United States - Morristown

Today, I discovered that in the three days I left my 18-year-old son in charge, my dog had gotten pregnant. When I confronted my son about it, he stated, "I don't want the reputation of being a cock-blocker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 807

You deserved it 4 042

Worth it

By Anonymous - 19/02/2021 22:58

Today, my mom thought it would be funny to wake me up with a monster mask on, holding a knife, and screaming, "I'm going to kill you!" My first response was to punch her in the face then kick her. Guess who's grounded for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 321

You deserved it 65

By qhu - 23/10/2010 02:15 - United States

Today, I was disciplining one of my students for behavior, and he started to roll his eyes every time I was trying to teach the lesson. So I threatened to write him up. After looking closely at the student, I realized he has a lazy roaming eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 992

You deserved it 37 150

By herzausstein - 21/12/2009 22:36 - Belgium

Today, I took the train home. When seated, I suddenly noticed something wet on my seat. Without looking, I thought it was water since it was snowing outside. Guess again. It was vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 590

You deserved it 7 081

By Anonymous - 23/03/2009 06:43 - Canada

Spicy

Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 187

You deserved it 30 702

Remember socialising?

By Anonymous - 23/04/2020 23:00

Today, because of this fucking virus I was really excited to actually talk to another person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 258

By FinanciallyF*ked - 21/11/2018 15:30

Today, after my husband applied for a VA loan so we could move out of our ridiculously overpriced apartment and into our first home as a mortgage would be significantly cheaper, we were denied. If we can afford $1400/month in rent, we surely can’t be trusted with $1000/month for a mortgage, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 123

You deserved it 181

By Whatdididowrong? - 10/05/2011 05:18

Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 278

You deserved it 12 334

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 04:48 - Australia

Today, my grandpa died. I decided to call my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit: "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 645

You deserved it 25 851

By Tireddddddd - 31/07/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I got back from camp. My camp-mates? A girl who refused to shower the entire week, a girl who threatened to hurt me several times, a snorer, my princess of a sister who took forever in the mornings, and a counselor who watched us sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 485

You deserved it 3 419

It's the new craze!

By Peggy Peggerson - 09/10/2020 02:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I’d feel comfortable pegging him. I had no idea what that meant, so I had to look it up. I tried to keep an open mind but it was just too far outside my comfort zone. Now he’s sulking and complaining about me being a prude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 382

Gassy

By Anonymous - 06/12/2010 22:53 - United States

Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 899

You deserved it 9 045

By lonelygirl - 14/02/2010 05:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 599

You deserved it 3 431

Warm up guy

By Anonymous - 17/06/2020 08:08

Today, it seems that my four previous girlfriends all left me because they found better, more attractive, more wealthy, more interesting men. My entire love life feels like I’m the warm up act for the main event of other dudes getting laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 218

By LXA429 - 12/03/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 854

You deserved it 32 318

Weight watcher

By depressedkiwi - 15/07/2020 08:01

Today, I found out my mother-in-law is trying to force me to lose weight, even though I am trying, and have a medical condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 322

You deserved it 642

Early wake-up

By Bir - 08/12/2019 14:00 - Nepal

Today, my nephew grabbed my balls to wake me up at 4 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 725

You deserved it 159

Sexy talk

By suckstosuck - 23/07/2013 04:04 - United States - Dana Point

Spicy

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 095

You deserved it 13 568

By skyeraven - 16/03/2014 20:10 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 824

You deserved it 4 616

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 16:08

guess u need 2 loose some weight op

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 16:09

they were just trying to help you, and make the decision to loose weight for you seeing as you clearly didn't. so YDI unless of course you aren't fat? :/ then FYL

Comments

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 16:08

guess u need 2 loose some weight op

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 16:27

LOL that's why you ALWAYS read the brochure when ur parents say your going to camp and it might have been more beneficial for them to buy you a gym membership than a ticket to fat camp

iSitt 0

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 16:42

fat kids don't goto gyms so buying them a membership doesn't help. fatcamp is a parent's cry for help.

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 17:58

Guess you need to learn how to spell dumbass.

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 18:18

its kinda like that new tv show...HUGE..

TaylorTotsYumm 10

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 18:26

It'd be funny if the name of the camp was HUGE.

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 4:34

It's actually Camp Victory, but whatever. :)

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Tuesday 4 October 2011 5:17

Bury your embarrassment in some ice cream.

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 16:09

they were just trying to help you, and make the decision to loose weight for you seeing as you clearly didn't. so YDI unless of course you aren't fat? :/ then FYL

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 19:54

Considering how much those camps cost, they either really care because you're unhealthy and they want you to get better. Or they don't care at all because you're the next Twiggy, but they needed a place to send you for the summer and Camp _____ had space, so... Worst case, you make some friends, eat some healthy food, and learn about yourself. Best case, you stop complaining about having parents that love you, make some friends, eat some healthy food, and learn about yourself.

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 22:56

It might even be fun - being able to play sports and learn new skills, without being ostracized by your peers. Really OP: be happy that you have parents who care about you.

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Friday 16 July 2010 10:02

agreeed

taylor_the_boss 5

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Thursday 16 February 2012 1:53

What's YDI?

heyheyitshailey 17

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Saturday 28 November 2015 4:24

You deserve it

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 16:10

i Agree With Sarah

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 16:12

at least they didn't just let u sit they a get even more fat ! u should be thanking them from saving u from future humiliation!

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 16:51

wierd how 3 n 4 both have 'bear' in there names?

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 16:11

Fatcamp... Funcamp... whats a few letters between fatasses. ;-) Just be grateful that your parents care enough to actually do something about your situation.

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 19:09

should we call them funasses?

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 7:52

Well... ughh... that was quite rude. :

rawr_iliketacos 0

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 16:11

lol when i first read this I read 'my pants were elastic' haha

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 16:12

If you're that fat OP, thank 'em. They want you to be healthy, that's all.

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 16:12

Hey Whered Sarahs Comment Go.? Anyways, your parents made the decision for u to loose weight bcuxz u obviously arent doinq eht. If Thats The Case, Then YDI. Of Ur Not Fat, Then FYL

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 20:03

eht? Really?!

heyheyitshailey 17

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Saturday 28 November 2015 4:26

The amount of grammatical mistakes in this post are too damn high. That's ridiculous. Even if you didn't receive an education your autocorrect should have at least caught some of the multitudinous mistakes.

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 16:15

OP suck it up. I guarntee it's not as bad as hard as the camp I went to this summer.

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 16:16

*not as hard.

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 17:19

shit I bet it as bad as my camp last summer either

Trollz4daLULZ 1

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 16:15

YDI for being a lardo.

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Tuesday 13 July 2010 16:15

that sucks op u should have sex with another fat person on their bed to get back at them

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31

You deserved it 8

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 9

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 114

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 84