By bleachingmykidsbrains - Canada - Montr?al Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML I agree, your life sucks 25648 You deserved it 1718 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kismet_fire - United States - San Francisco Today, a customer yelled at me because I gave her a wrinkled bag. I work in retail, and the bags are all cheap plastic. She wouldn't stop, even when I gave her 3 different bags. FML I agree, your life sucks 34728 You deserved it 2697 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By op-poopy - Canada Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML I agree, your life sucks 29957 You deserved it 2584 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, my job application for McDonald's was rejected. This is the second time. FML I agree, your life sucks 35670 You deserved it 13723 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By flipflop - United States Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML I agree, your life sucks 44168 You deserved it 7403 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ShitFaced - United States Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML I agree, your life sucks 26973 You deserved it 21497 179 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MLeguillon - United States - Imperial Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML I agree, your life sucks 52502 You deserved it 4217 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By davka Today, I was fired from my job. Apparently getting shot is no valid reason to stay home. FML I agree, your life sucks 65159 You deserved it 4816 323 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Stupid - United States - Lake Saint Louis Today, I thought that an ingenious way to protest against high tuition prices would be to steal a box of soymilk from my university dining hall. The box exploded in my backpack. Not only did I lose all my soymilk, I now have replace my $120 calculator. FML I agree, your life sucks 16845 You deserved it 67876 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pixie09 - United States Today, I got sentenced to 20 hours community service for having a boy in my room an hour after floor hours. If I don't do the community service, I could get kicked out of the dorm and put on probation at my college. We were breaking up. FML I agree, your life sucks 31353 You deserved it 11564 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NotTheFavoriteChild Today, I asked my mom if she wanted to go wedding dress shopping with me today. She reluctantly said, "I guess". I showered, shaved and did my hair and makeup. When I came downstairs, she hadn't even brushed her teeth yet. "I'm just lacking motivation to go," she said. Glad you're so excited too. FML I agree, your life sucks 20313 You deserved it 1566 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I replied to a party invite. I thought I was only replying to the hostess, who's a close friend, so added a P. S. about a recent sex toy purchase I'd made and how rubbish it had been. I only realised after pressing "Send" that I'd selected "Reply All". FML I agree, your life sucks 28366 You deserved it 41206 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Sweden Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 44668 You deserved it 11893 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ophelia - United States - Albuquerque Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML I agree, your life sucks 23323 You deserved it 4097 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By great - Puerto Rico - San Juan Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML I agree, your life sucks 39638 You deserved it 6518 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Aberrombie Blue - United States - Durham Today, I was at my little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet, and in the middle of her solo, her phone started ringing. She decided to stop, check her phone, and continue playing. FML I agree, your life sucks 47791 You deserved it 14083 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML I agree, your life sucks 32384 You deserved it 2768 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oh, good - United Kingdom - Bath Poor Mickey Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 1506 You deserved it 222 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, my brother hugged me for the first time. Turns out he was patting me down to make sure I didn't have cigarettes. Love you too, bro. FML I agree, your life sucks 22709 You deserved it 2607 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By biomajor - United States Today, I was talking to a guy at the bar and I told him I was a biology major. He promptly said, "NEXT" and moved on to the girl next to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 36191 You deserved it 3557 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ashamed - United States - Buffalo Get Lucky, sound of the summer Today, my neighbor called me a lucky bastard and said he heard me getting my wife off last night. I was too ashamed to admit the sounds he was referring to were from my 17-year-old daughter after a wasp flew through her bedroom window. FML I agree, your life sucks 24821 You deserved it 2359 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By arse-face - Ireland - Caher Today, a group of friends and I went out to a fancy club together. The doorman checked us out and let everyone in. Everyone except me, that is. The doorman's reason: "Her face looks like a baboon's arse." My "friends" all went in anyway, leaving me to walk all the way home. FML I agree, your life sucks 53876 You deserved it 4848 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I realized that going back on birth control has made my acne go away and my boobs bigger. However, to my boyfriend's dismay, I've completely lost my sex drive. FML I agree, your life sucks 38003 You deserved it 5209 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dumbass1991 - United States Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML I agree, your life sucks 8122 You deserved it 121548 366 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By eringoBRA - United States Today, I walked out of my house, waved at my neighbors, walked through my front yard and into the side yard to turn off the sprinkler. It wasn't until I was back into the house that I remembered I wasn't wearing a top. FML I agree, your life sucks 18136 You deserved it 52695 293 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sarah Lyn Guillen Today, I saw the cutest baby watching a show with my Dad. After commenting how cute she was, my Dad goes on to say, "Yeah, most babies are cute. Except you, you looked like a lizard." FML I agree, your life sucks 1616 You deserved it 205 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sigsigsignify Today, my 3 year old future niece was combing my hair while I was watching a movie with the future in-laws. She kept leaving saying she was going to "go get the comb wet". I assumed she meant in the bathroom sink. Turns out she was just going around behind the couch and licking it. FML I agree, your life sucks 2361 You deserved it 382 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fartlover - Canada Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML I agree, your life sucks 34216 You deserved it 8614 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By harvdog - United States Today, I went to Seattle with my mom to visit my pregnant sister, only to end up being dragged to a store to buy maternity clothes. The saleswoman apologized to me repeatedly for not having a lounge for the fathers, but congratulated me on the baby. I'm a girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 32944 You deserved it 5185 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By why ma? - 25/3/2020 08:02 May to December Today, I invited my elderly mother to come stay with my husband and I during this outbreak, just until everything calms down. She declined because we said she couldn’t bring her boyfriend. Her boyfriend is a 34 year-old leech who's been living off her for over a year. She refuses to change her mind. FML I agree, your life sucks 1535 You deserved it 186 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ledon - Canada Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML I agree, your life sucks 30175 You deserved it 3176 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/5/2020 05:00 Water, water, everywhere Today, I learned that taking a shower right before your house starts flooding is the human equivalent to washing your car right before it starts raining. Only much worse. FML I agree, your life sucks 1371 You deserved it 131 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Sweden - ?rsta Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML I agree, your life sucks 47390 You deserved it 4138 167 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I got a new laptop for Christmas. The picture on the box showed a woman balancing it on one finger to show how light it was, so I tried it myself. I dropped my laptop, breaking the hard drive and putting a massive crack down the screen. FML I agree, your life sucks 8011 You deserved it 100305 226 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/9/2020 16:01 - United States - Saint Paul Dash and dine Today, I was on a dinner date. Went really well. She said she was excited to have date number two. It came to paying. I went up to pay. Turned around. She had gone. Number blocked. FML I agree, your life sucks 1517 You deserved it 103 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML I agree, your life sucks 35603 You deserved it 9104 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lovewedge - United States Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML I agree, your life sucks 72865 You deserved it 23477 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By scammerssuck - Ireland - Dublin Today, my girlfriend received a scam email about her great uncle dying and leaving her money. She not only believed it, but she also used my credit card details for it. FML I agree, your life sucks 31324 You deserved it 3076 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I told my parents I wanted to try modelling. I decided that since I have such a low self-esteem, that it might benefit me, and make me feel better about myself and how I look. The first thing out of my dad's mouth was, "What? Why? You're ugly." Thanks dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 36067 You deserved it 7436 205 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rockytrolley - Cyprus Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML I agree, your life sucks 43063 You deserved it 3655 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By overachiever - United States Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML I agree, your life sucks 79854 You deserved it 8422 395 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Reider022 | 16 #6337973 - Thursday 2 July 2015 10:11 Fuck your spouses life.. The things they must have had to put up with growing up. Send a private message 226 1 Reply
By bulletsinthewind | 21 #6337970 - Thursday 2 July 2015 10:11 Okay, that is something. Maybe she shouldn't be around the kids too much. Send a private message 188 2 Reply
By bulletsinthewind | 21 #6337970 - Thursday 2 July 2015 10:11 Okay, that is something. Maybe she shouldn't be around the kids too much. Send a private message 188 2 Reply
Reply Pinkgal123 | 24 #6337976 - Thursday 2 July 2015 10:15 Or any kids, for that matter. Send a private message 42 0 Reply
By Pinkgal123 | 24 #6337971 - Thursday 2 July 2015 10:11 Okay...that must have been interesting...., maybe she should just ask her husband? Kinky Send a private message 6 11 Reply
By Reider022 | 16 #6337973 - Thursday 2 July 2015 10:11 Fuck your spouses life.. The things they must have had to put up with growing up. Send a private message 226 1 Reply
By winterforever97 | 30 #6337974 - Thursday 2 July 2015 10:12 That's just wrong lol Send a private message 11 2 Reply
By Ramos808 | 29 #6337975 - Thursday 2 July 2015 10:14 I just started off the day with this strange story, lol Send a private message 11 1 Reply
By Yazoo77 | 16 #6337977 - Thursday 2 July 2015 10:16 Tell your father in law. Send a private message 16 4 Reply
By PredatorPups | 15 #6337978 - Thursday 2 July 2015 10:17 Did your kids wash their eyes afterwards? Send a private message 4 3 Reply
By Tournesol143 | 28 #6337979 - Thursday 2 July 2015 10:17 OP that goes beyond disturbing and into Twilight Zone territory. Your name says it all! Send a private message 2 2 Reply
Reply Sammeydw | 22 #6338184 - Thursday 2 July 2015 15:13 This is even too disturbing for The Twilight Zone. Send a private message 3 0 Reply
By taymichele16 | 15 #6337981 - Thursday 2 July 2015 10:18 I hope they are young enough to forget that mental image Send a private message 16 2 Reply
Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML I agree, your life sucks 405 You deserved it 50 5 Comments
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after finding out that I opened an Onlyfans account. FML I agree, your life sucks 278 You deserved it 2022 10 Comments