Dangling modifier - FML

Dangling modifier

By Anonymous - 11/07/2020 23:06

Today, I took my dog out for his walk, only to find out that I had an extra bra hanging vertically out of my pants. Thankfully, the only person who saw me was the maintenance guy, who looked very confused, so I just smiled at him. I had no idea why, I only realized when the wind blew it against my leg and I saw my shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 808

You deserved it 481

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/10/2009 21:53 - United States

Today, I had to chase my dog all the way down the street, watching in horror as she proudly showed all of my neighbors my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 832

You deserved it 5 945

By Anonymous - 21/05/2009 16:41 - Canada

Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 744

You deserved it 59 924

By ThatsNotRight - 31/01/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 898

You deserved it 31 050

Whoops

By ER1C - 16/05/2016 12:35 - Canada

Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 475

You deserved it 1 211

Check this out

By Anonymous - 30/09/2018 12:00

Today, I had to run to put the trash out for the garbage truck, only I was so hungover, I forgot I was only wearing an open dressing gown and no underwear. A few neighbours and passing cars got to see me swinging in the breeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 336

You deserved it 2 708

By Doggy... - 10/11/2011 05:56 - Australia

Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 721

You deserved it 9 887

Bad doggo!

By coral - 08/07/2009 17:51 - United States

Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him, only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked, and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 646

You deserved it 12 406

Public surprise

By Pants-Girl - 24/11/2019 08:00 - Canada

Today, I was out walking downtown. A woman walking behind the thought that my pants were hanging too low. She came over to me and yanked my pants up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 2 488

By RBHSWedgieGirl - 23/01/2011 01:35 - United States

Today, while walking across campus, I stopped to look at my reflection in a window. I straightened my bra straps and then turned to the side to dig a wedgie out. It wasn't until I heard peals of laughter that I realized I couldn't see IN the classroom, but they could see OUT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 507

You deserved it 36 034

By Angela - 04/01/2012 19:01 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office. People kept staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. Later, I realized my sister's puppies had chewed a noticeable hole in my pants' crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 538

You deserved it 5 577

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Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 11 July 2020 23:09

I'll bet you felt like a boob! Don't be surprised if the maintenance guy starts coming around to check on things frequently.

bloopaloop 27

Saturday 11 July 2020 23:55

Tell him it’s to give support to your giant balls, but the strap must have broke.

diraven 15

Monday 13 July 2020 23:49

Maybe he owns the same one

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The Top

Today, I noticed there was a red truck following me. I walked as fast as I could. I then ran. It followed. I slipped on some ice and fell. I was unable to get up. It stopped beside me and the driver got out. I then said hello to my husband's new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 526

You deserved it 23 513

Today, I woke up, took a shower, made some pasta, drank 3 glasses of water and brushed my teeth. I then left my apartment to see signs posted all over warning us not to use the water without boiling it because the water company just found E-coli in the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 878

You deserved it 4 311

The Top

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 391

You deserved it 50 173

Today, I sat on an elevator for 10 minutes thinking I was stuck. After waiting awhile I looked at the screen to see what floor I was stuck on, only to realize I hadn't pressed a button so I had just stayed on the ground floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 268

You deserved it 63 900

Today, on our anniversary, my sister bitched me out and made a passive aggressive Facebook post on our page, all because my fiancé didn't want to clean her cat puke on the floor downstairs when she was literally right next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 85

Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 215

You deserved it 8 846

Today, after coming home from a long day at work, I found out that in a house full of 5 adults, some rules still need to be set. The newest addition to the rules: No watching porn and jerking off in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 742

You deserved it 2 273

Today, my roommate and I got charged $100 for having a cat in our apartment. I was only babysitting the cat so my neighbors wouldn't get caught and fined. We got caught because my roommate reported the people downstairs for having a noisy dog, so they reported that someone else in the building had a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 205

You deserved it 30 138