Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, while in deep sleep, I was suddenly awoken by a tickle on my face and nearly threw my cat off the bed. Apparently, 4 a.m. Is the perfect time to touch noses with your human. FML
Today, my husband rolled over in his sleep, cuddled up to me, and lovingly whispered “I love you Pizza Hut...” FML
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
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Top comments
Fredzter 0
HAHAHA!! He is my hero! If you don't want him, I'll take him!! :D
iDemonChild 0
Lol. Whipped cream and tickling your nose... Classic. =D
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Comments (183)
WWJC 0
that's Not an FML, that's funny! they both start w/ 'f' but there's a difference!
highsheep 0
Today, my husband had a sense of humor. FML
omgurkidding27 0
how is this an fml? wash yourself up, congratulate your husbands sense of humor and go back to bed
pennyr 0
haahahahhahahahaha. lucky to have a husband that cook.
MiroDSM 0
ha awesome
bryttkneee 0
do you have a cat? if so, shine a laser at his face while he's asleep and let the cat claw at it. or do like my brother did to me this morning, get your toothbrush all wet with spit then kinda flick it at his face, so your saliva flies all over his face :)
ezioaudatore 0
AWSOME HUSBAND
JessAmmyy_ 0
your boyfriend is ledgee maannn(:
danishbagel 3
He's a keeper.
Snowjob 0
I lolz for a whole 10 min. hahahahaha