Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, while in deep sleep, I was suddenly awoken by a tickle on my face and nearly threw my cat off the bed. Apparently, 4 a.m. Is the perfect time to touch noses with your human. FML
Today, my husband rolled over in his sleep, cuddled up to me, and lovingly whispered “I love you Pizza Hut...” FML
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
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Top comments
Fredzter 0
HAHAHA!! He is my hero! If you don't want him, I'll take him!! :D
iDemonChild 0
Lol. Whipped cream and tickling your nose... Classic. =D
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Comments (183)
ayyy_bro 26
Oh boo hoo be happy he's still trying to have fun with your boring ass.
0d987f6t54gu321 4
Wow, your life is just so awful. How do you even survive. At least it wasn't shaving cream or glue. Get over it.
ihateveryone21 10
That's what life's about
Ashley Beecher 8
Wake him up with peanut butter on his balls the dog licking it off..and tickle his feet with the feathers...