Miscellaneous: Today, my friend snuck up on me and yelled, "Gotcha!" I screamed...

By kitchencrime - 28/08/2009 06:11 - United States

Today, my friend snuck up on me and yelled, "Gotcha!" I screamed and dropped a gallon of blood-red paint on my new, white kitchen floor. Now it looks like I've murdered someone in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 807

You deserved it 4 494

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Same thing different taste

By RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) - 17/12/2014 18:47 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 891

You deserved it 6 638

By fuuu. - 19/03/2012 12:39 - Hong Kong

Today, while painting a wall, I handed a bucket of paint up to my friend who was standing on the top rung of a ladder. She said she felt dizzy, and came crashing down on me, along with the paint on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 255

You deserved it 2 579

By N O - 27/05/2014 18:47 - Canada - Granton

Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 387

You deserved it 6 967

Steady on

By Anonymous - 20/10/2023 07:00 - Canada

Today, I found out the hard way that you shouldn't try to open a can of paint with a screwdriver. The lid flew off, and my kitchen floor now looks like an abstract art painting, which I could probably call, "Various blue splodges on wood canvas." FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 584

Spooky

By Scaredwitless - 28/01/2011 04:35 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 915

You deserved it 6 020

You're grounded!

By Break A Leg - 08/08/2022 14:00

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 138

Remodeling

By Spelit - 13/08/2010 19:45 - United States

Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 015

You deserved it 13 620

Panic!

By Bleach dat Blood - 20/07/2015 03:02

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 119

You deserved it 3 814

Silly idiot

By Heather - 04/03/2010 12:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it, and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 245

You deserved it 3 695

By Iwtumn - 17/03/2015 16:52 - Austria

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 669

You deserved it 17 299

StrawberryPiez_ 0

Friday 28 August 2009 16:21

why the hell do you have blood red paint for anyways,? fyl

haleyneal 0

Sunday 17 June 2012 18:12

probably to paint the walls *sarcastic tone*

Comments

morbidsweet 0

Friday 28 August 2009 16:20

Lmao X) But ah, that sucks. Hope that shit comes off for ya.

sublime93 0

Friday 28 August 2009 19:38

...But you didn't murder someone in there, so what's the problem?

the_stereotype 0

Friday 28 August 2009 20:56

i feel for you, but i won't lie...if i was your friend...i would get some police tape and make the body outline thing just for kicks while you were out

dudeitsdanny 9

Saturday 29 August 2009 6:36

48- But she did murder someone. The FML is just the official story

kieran247 0

Friday 23 April 2010 21:44

you should keep it and scare people that cone over xD

Gisellee 0

Friday 28 August 2009 16:20

damn. FYL

StrawberryPiez_ 0

Friday 28 August 2009 16:21

why the hell do you have blood red paint for anyways,? fyl

haleyneal 0

Sunday 17 June 2012 18:12

probably to paint the walls *sarcastic tone*

Watchmaker 2

Friday 28 August 2009 16:22

Wow, that sucks.

Htownmichigan 0

Friday 28 August 2009 16:23

Haha fyl.

iDemonChild 0

Friday 28 August 2009 16:25

What were you doing with blood red paint anyways? And why did you take off the cap before you went to the place where you were painting???

demonic562 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 8:42

fyl

cookiexcookie 0

Friday 28 August 2009 16:26

it can't b cleaned no?

ZuRG_fml 7

Friday 28 August 2009 16:29

razor scraper?

Englishrose 0

Friday 28 August 2009 16:26

Not really a FML though, it's marble, the paint will of just wiped straight off, and even if you left it, you could still wipe it straight off with a cleaning solution. Now if you had of dropped it on your carpet, that would of been a FML

toyota_fml 0

Friday 28 August 2009 16:26

i feel she was intending on creating a crime scene

screwtaylor 0

Friday 28 August 2009 16:27

It also may look like you had your period, but you didn't notice that you were leaking all over the house. http://www.spatcave.com/vktrs/mDSC00324.jpg I bet your floors look so artistic now. Start splattering maybe some blue and green, that'll go nice with the red.