By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Timing

Today, my boyfriend came out of the closet. In the middle of us having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2195

You deserved it

246

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Coherence dude, do you have it?

Serious times

Mixed signals

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was helping my friend pack her carry on for her vacation. I drove her to the airport, and after her plane took off, I noticed I put my cell phone in her purse. Her vacation is 2 months long. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16944

You deserved it

33438

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By litup - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to light a firework in the back seat of my car while we were driving down the interstate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45620

You deserved it

6576

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By zephyrgk - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was grounded by my dad for "popping pills like a gangbanger". I take prescription ADHD medicine and a multi-vitamin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42666

You deserved it

3095

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By good big sister? - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48993

You deserved it

4698

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By thisbethed - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boss made up a rumor that I was quitting my job so I wouldn't get the promotion that was coming up. There goes that raise I've been wanting for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24852

You deserved it

1522

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By Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43517

You deserved it

12013

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By SupaSu - Canada

Today, I passed the girl I like a note asking her out, signed Mark H. She picked it up, read it, turned around and asked me, "Do you know who Mark H. is?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

74652

You deserved it

7893

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By Stumanji - United States

Today, I found out my reward for topping three of the four employee performance charts was a paycut. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28008

You deserved it

2184

Favorite

By Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I went to see a movie. While buying tickets, the girl behind the counter asked to show my ID card to proof I'm at least 16 years old. Not wanting to make a drama, I showed it. She took a look at it and declared it as fake. That ID is real and I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58926

You deserved it

3320

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By Anonymous - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34182

You deserved it

3533

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By angrymadman3542342 - Canada

Today, I started talking to a friend about how he needs to stop overreacting and getting angry very easily. He kicked sand up in the air, and it came back into his eyes. He started getting angry, and when I told him this is what I was talking about, he hit me in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31966

You deserved it

7516

Favorite

By Ishnar - 2/2/2021 05:01 - United States

PMS PSA

Today, while my partner usually has their work mic muted, I went in and complained about my period. Turns out today was the one day they didn't have it muted. Their whole team heard, and I used to work with some of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

310

You deserved it

770

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By Rizzle - New Zealand

Today, I made a tuna sandwich. It was really nice , so I looked at the label to see what brand it was. Turns out it wasn't tuna. It was fancy cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14688

You deserved it

45022

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By Anonymous - Canada - Sackville

Today, my biology professor was giving a lecture to everyone and used me as an example. For what? Traits men are repulsed by in potential mates. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42705

You deserved it

3600

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By movingbuddy - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend of a year asked me to move in with him. I would have been touched at this gesture, had he not asked in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kicked out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

33928

You deserved it

3954

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By zenithbelana - United States

Today, two weeks after reporting our car was broken into, the police showed up to our flat. They came to inform us that our car was was broken into. We explained that we knew this and reported it weeks ago. Apparently, it was broken into again, and set on fire this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34556

You deserved it

2119

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53679

You deserved it

5263

Favorite

By DSM - United States

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

20771

You deserved it

117244

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By Anonymous - Poland - Warsaw

Today, yet again, I got into an argument with my dad. I have a PhD in the subject. But he's "entitled to his opinion", for, as he said, he's read a summary of the history of the country in a tourist guidebook, and the general view doesn't have to be based on more detailed information. He also corrects me when I speak the language, which he doesn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1803

You deserved it

165

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By achoo - United States

Today, I brought back the puppy I adopted for my family. I spent months doing all the research on puppy care with two young children, and at least five hundred dollars for the dog, the supplies, toys... the whole bit. Turns out everyone's allergic to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52942

You deserved it

8458

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By teaspoonzz

Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4522

You deserved it

264

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By stillAvirgin:( - United States

Today, I purchased an app to track my period. When my mother asked me why I got it, I told her I was going to use it so I knew when to not go on a date because I don't want to be uncomfortable during a long movie. She slapped me in the face and called me a dirty prostitute and a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50704

You deserved it

9086

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By roomingwithevil - United States - Slinger

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29651

You deserved it

2049

Favorite

By blondieforlife - United States - Racine

Today, I left my desk to go to the bathroom. I arrived back at my desk to a large package of SlimQuick packets. Guess my coworkers think I need to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31432

You deserved it

3568

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By parker1993 - United States

Today, while waiting for a job interview, a woman sat down next to me and asked if I was here for the job too. Thinking she was also an applicant, I tried to demoralise her, and said the job was going to be a complete joke. With that, she stood up and said, "Do you still want to go into my office?" She was the interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8853

You deserved it

76408

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By messy jessy - 7/9/2020 11:01 - United States

Who's there?

Today, I was on FaceTime with my sister. She remarked that my living room was a mess, and that she didn’t know how I kept a man with a place like that. I retorted, “He’s not with me for how well I can clean, when I can polish his knob like a marble floor!” I had no idea my dad was off camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks

729

You deserved it

1458

Favorite

By yee-whore - United States - Waterbury

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43197

You deserved it

3767

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a job interview with a person named Chris. The entire time I couldn't figure out if Chris was a man or woman. The interview went as good as it could have went. At the end I said, "Thank you very much sir." Wrong gender. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45342

You deserved it

18912

Favorite

By Miss Blairgowrie - Australia - Fairfield

Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33211

You deserved it

2731

Favorite

By Lame - United States

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45845

You deserved it

6781

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35064

You deserved it

8137

Favorite

By Si123 - 15/8/2020 08:01

Night terrors

Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1148

You deserved it

215

Favorite

By dm206 - United States

Today, I decided that I was going to get my front license plate put back on my car after two years of having it off. In these two years I somehow never got pulled over for it, as it is illegal to drive without one in MD. On my way there, I got pulled over for not having a front license plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18104

You deserved it

51740

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Guelph

Today, a woman started giving me grief because we didn't have any Boxing Day sales. As I explained to her that dollar stores don't usually have sales, she tried to lamp me. It ended by her getting dragged out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37352

You deserved it

2775

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

I agree, your life sucks

41482

You deserved it

3729

Favorite

By now what - Canada

Today, I got laid off. I abandoned my friends, my boyfriend and moved 10 hours away for this job because my uncle convinced me to. My uncle is my employer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34019

You deserved it

4840

Favorite

By dateless - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks

25048

You deserved it

2348

Favorite

By lousy - United States

Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23986

You deserved it

3849

Favorite

By MahSquito - United States

Today, a train hit me. A slow mini-train full of kindergartners who were on a tour of the museum I was visiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25439

You deserved it

6353

Favorite

By Conspiratea

Today, I'm in the hospital for a broken hip and cerebral hemorrhage, bedridden with a continuous headache. My roommate has dementia and shouts and cries all day about a hospital conspiracy where everybody is drinking tea all the time except her. This will be a long month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3397

You deserved it

191

Favorite

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Top comments

By Leeono | 26

#7889868 - Monday 16 March 2020 0:51

Why was you having sex in a closet?

By Jillian Cosby-Kelly | 15

#7889869 - Monday 16 March 2020 1:05

better than marrying him and finding out years down the road.
still rough though.... sorry.

COMMENTS

By Amanda Howard | 9

#7889860 - Monday 16 March 2020 0:12

so is he gay or bi/pan?

By Leeono | 26

#7889868 - Monday 16 March 2020 0:51

Why was you having sex in a closet?

By Jillian Cosby-Kelly | 15

#7889869 - Monday 16 March 2020 1:05

better than marrying him and finding out years down the road.
still rough though.... sorry.

By theangrygay | 3

#7889874 - Monday 16 March 2020 1:21

Is he cute at least? 😂😂

By RichardPencil | 30

#7889875 - Monday 16 March 2020 1:21

You must be a terrible fuck.

I have no idea how bad a lay must be to make me want to quit and join the other team!

boogerjt | 6

#7891288 - Saturday 21 March 2020 23:15

The worst I ever had was wonderful❗️

By WistayShlaio82 | 13

#7889880 - Monday 16 March 2020 2:57

Well, at least you helped him find out who he truly is.