Miscellaneous: Today, my husband finally revealed that he's been secretly buying...

By tara - 18/12/2015 17:49 - Switzerland - Zug

Today, my husband finally revealed that he's been secretly buying a particular brand of spicy chicken, eating it on his way home from work. He does it because it makes his farts smell just the way he likes it under the duvet when we go to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 977

You deserved it 1 898

Miscellaneous

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 893

You deserved it 6 506

By Thanks Honey - 05/06/2013 15:08 - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 587

You deserved it 5 189

Scoville scale

By firefire - 30/07/2020 08:01

Today, since my husband has been volunteering to do more of the cooking, I was happy and relieved to have help, until every meal he made had an ungodly amount of spices in it. I overheard him on the phone, saying he’s been purposely making my food inedibly hot so that I’ll eat less and lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 963

You deserved it 292

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 263

You deserved it 4 004

By isoheartcaitlin - 25/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 355

You deserved it 6 160

Feu Orange

By Farty - 02/09/2021 19:01 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a car air freshener on his desk, because it "keeps my farts away from his air." FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 274

Hot air

By SuperSleuth - 07/10/2021 11:01 - United States - Miami

Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 307

By sickyandiknowit - 08/11/2014 07:36 - United States - Eugene

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 104

You deserved it 4 845

Crack wars

By Grimmy - 17/03/2016 08:12 - United States - Brunswick

Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 833

You deserved it 9 875

By Susan - 28/02/2012 11:55 - Canada

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 946

You deserved it 6 828

Psycocharger 19

Saturday 19 December 2015 14:48

What did I just read...?

XxNekoLovexX 26

Saturday 19 December 2015 14:48

Well that's vile. Spray him with Liquid Ass and see if he likes that

Comments

colton_colton 49

Saturday 19 December 2015 14:45

Maybe he should sleep on the couch for a bit

Badkarma4u 17

Saturday 19 December 2015 20:10

Maybe she should. If shes the one that's unhappy..

ShowMeKay 20

Sunday 20 December 2015 0:12

40 - So you'd be happy intentionally having to inhale smelly farts in a regular basis? Normal people aren't happy about that.

ww431 15

Saturday 19 December 2015 14:46

Go to war!

beeferjay 34

Saturday 19 December 2015 18:38

egg salad and ribs...

freddygasman 18

Saturday 19 December 2015 20:04

if you're lactose intolerant, a warm glass of milk will help you sleep

ThrottleJockey 35

Sunday 20 December 2015 4:38

Beer, eggs, milk, and broccoli.

O0hdear 21

Saturday 19 December 2015 14:47

He's put way too much thought into that

everythingelena 28

Saturday 19 December 2015 14:47

you might wanna grab some Febreeze OP just in case it gets bad.

XxNekoLovexX 26

Saturday 19 December 2015 14:48

Well that's vile. Spray him with Liquid Ass and see if he likes that

Psycocharger 19

Saturday 19 December 2015 14:48

What did I just read...?

teentee401 36

Saturday 19 December 2015 15:08

"Today, my husband finally revealed that he's been secretly buying a particular brand of spicy chicken, eating it on his way home from work. He does it because it makes his farts smell just the way he likes it under the duvet when we go to bed. FML" Does that clear things up?

shay_serendipity 29

Saturday 19 December 2015 21:22

That clears up the FML, but unfortunately for OP it does not clear the air under those sheets..

LadyKayDee 23

Saturday 19 December 2015 14:49

One would assume that he ate the chicken because he liked it.

Skycop_S 23

Saturday 19 December 2015 18:25

No, it's not because he likes the chicken, he just wants spicy chicken farts.

truckers_wife 23

Saturday 19 December 2015 14:50

so he'd rather push you away with daily stinky gas than make himself presentable? obviously if you're married you'll see each others ugly sides occasionally but that doesn't mean you should stop trying.