By Jenn P - 22/04/2012 03:15 - United States - Wichita Falls

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML
I agree, your life sucks 9 960
You deserved it 70 565

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Smoking is bad anyways

I think he's subtly asking for a blowjob.


Smoking is bad anyways

Looks like your going to be sucking on a new penis every day :)

I think he is giving OP a hint.

Practice makes perfect.

BarDownDaily 12

He could be asking for a blowjob, or trying to get you to quit smoking and evidently save your life.

Your lungs are getting destroyed by penises!

BeatifulPenguin 4

No body cares anyway, OP.

F your husbands life for having to deal with your selfish, nasty-ass smoking!!!!!!

He's trying to care for you. You have two choices: Let him care for you now... ask him for help and support in quitting. OR Let him care for you as a terminal cancer patient.. by making sure you take your morphine pills, changing your catheter bag, helping you sit on a toilet/cleaning your soiled underwear, draining your lung tubes (pretty cool. they put a little tube in to drain fluid build up, so you can live a couple extra months!)..The morphine fucks you up so bad you likely won't recognize your husband who's sacrificing his well-being to take care of you in your final months...... Frankly that's not even the worst of it. At that point, you still have a few months to 'live'.... OH and as an added 'middle finger' to the man you 'love', you get to tack him with hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills that will linger LONG after you're gone.

Maybe rather than plain packaging cigarettes, the Australian government should draw penises all over them.

Can I just say that, even though I agree with everyone that smoking is a very dirty habit, we all voluntarily intake toxins on some level. If someone meddled with your alcohol, for instance, I'm sure you'll be quick to say something about it. Also, yes, smoking increases the chances of cancer; that doesn't mean all smokers are destined to become cancer patients. Other things increase the risks of cancer as well; hair dyes, certain foods, some contraceptives, sunlight, obesity, even cell phones- but I'm sure most of you guys wouldn't be quick to avoid those things.

OHai15 12

dont choke on that "smoke"

But it takes many more years for u to get any kind of medical conditions from those, u wud have to be doing those things many times a day (like smoking ciggarettes) in order to get cancer or other medical conditions ect....

It's not just about cancer. You're fucking up your lungs! You might end up with a hole in your throat to breathe. And the idiots who still smoke do it through their throats wtf

KatrinaKitten 16

139- Though your comment has a point, these practices don't pollute the air, and there is no correlation between them and cancer as direct as smoking and lung cancer.

Maddidaddi 0

Who cares if someone smokes? You just thumb it down because you don't like smokers. Grow up.

166- the food she is talking about are sprayed with herbicides and pesticides they do cause air pollution. I'm not for smoking tobacco though the stuff is kinda nasty

KatrinaKitten 16

169, I didn't know that, thank you.

Almost ALL foods lead to cancer It's the processed, canned, and otherwise tampered-with foods that lead to the over-growth of cells. That's why cases of cancer Skyrocketed in different communities around the world once they were introduced to trade. Organic is really important

You deserve it for smoking even though you know it kills and causes cancer.

139, I hate when people reference other things that have been shown to have a minor cancer risk as a justification for smoking. For starters, the majority of the things you mention either have a higher function or actually have a purpose in our lives. Smoking has none. There is no benefit from smoking. Also, people DO mess with your alcohol. If you are drinking to excess it is not unheard of for people to stage interventions. It's also common for people to try to stop their alcoholic relatives and friends from killing themselves. Apparently doing the same thing to a smoker is "rude" and "none of their business". 219, You're really just taking a half truth and exaggerating it to further your point. It's really not like you're saying at all, and organic comes with its own issues.

If he's telling u to quit, I agree

OPs an idiot for buying cigarettes anyway. It's practically throwing away money.

But a hint to quit smoking, or to suck more cock?

I think he's subtly asking for a blowjob.

Heads you win . . . .

Tails you get a cigarette burn in the mouth?

abceasyas123abc 12

I'm not sure why but as I read your comment I was expecting it to end with "you get a cigarette burn in the butt".

Cigarette butt perhaps? Usually BJs don't involve butt. Only for special occasions.

DKjazz 20

I don't know about "subtly".

I think what lies in the husband's mind here is twofold; he's suggesting that 1) you don't give enough blowjobs and 2) you smoke way too much. Hence he may as well get a 'blowjob' or two out of the countless cigarettes the OP smokes.

BJs from a mouth full of ash wouldn't be any fun... he's conveniently hinting OP needs to quit so that the blowjobs can be better. Two birds with one stone (two ideas with one cig)

Heads I get tail, tails I get head

Or maybe he's subtly asking for OP to burn his dick off…

Oh well, what will inhaling pen/sharpie do that the cig itself doesn't?

Hey love the pads.

CockAsian 14

Drugs are bad mkauuyyy?

She's basically saying her life is fucked from losing an 11 dollar pack of cigarettes. Ouch.

thanks for liking my pads! :)

DSfriscoe 2

hehe, you got to stick the dick in your mouth to get what your body craves!

Sucking dick is so much better than smoking. It can be pleasurable for both parties and is just positive all around! Smoking on the other hand just hurts you and the people around you.

Was really tempted to thumb this up and ruin that it's 69.

perdix 29

Actual size?

That way, she gets to practice several times a day till she perfects it at night

Not the same technique, guy.

FYL for smoking in the first place

Hey rehabs for quitters!!

I think that OP should have learned that on FML you won't get any sympathy if you smoke.

FHL for smoking? Not quite, she's the one who decided to start smoking in the first place, therefore her dumb ass deserved it.

138 That applies to everywhere else too. The only sympathy those idiots get is from each other.

What a rather ingenious way to get you to quit.

Yeah it would be embarrassing exposing that to someone in the smoking area at work.

wow, NOW I get the irony!!!! hrrrmmmmmm

Maybe he doesn't want you smoking? I don't know, but smoking is bad for you and you really should quit.

Government Warning: Cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health

If the government was truly concerned for us, they'd ban it all together

People would rebel. The law wouldn't stop anyone.

177, When people feel they have a right to do something they will find a way of doing it illegally. Smokers are of the opinion that it is their right to smoke, and I'd be interested to see how many would quit if it became illegal. I'm guessing very few.

sillycart 9

He is just trying to help you quit smoking!