Love: Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes....

By Jenn P - 22/04/2012 03:15 - United States - Wichita Falls

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 966

You deserved it 70 613

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Same thing different taste

By LizzyJones - 20/08/2013 17:38 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 180

You deserved it 8 985

It's the thought that counts

By sadwife - 31/05/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 653

You deserved it 10 748

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 23:26 - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 857

You deserved it 5 350

By Pimp Daddy - 30/04/2017 20:00

Today, my husband put "sexual favors" on the memo line for my contractor's check. His wife saw it and he had to quit mid-job. I'm stuck with a half-finished house and my husband thinks it's funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 560

You deserved it 536

Caught in 4K

By tanksfan - 05/01/2010 05:55 - India

Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 407

You deserved it 41 906

By fucker43 - 02/06/2013 06:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 786

You deserved it 4 725

By Anonymous - 27/06/2015 04:17 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 257

You deserved it 2 612

By fububc - 05/02/2010 15:14 - France

Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 824

You deserved it 6 417

By stopinthenameoflove - 19/06/2014 14:37 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 083

You deserved it 15 424

By blushingbride - 09/02/2014 21:59 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 363

You deserved it 4 442

furfantasies 0

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:15

Smoking is bad anyways

Chris122990 4

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:18

I think he's subtly asking for a *******.

Comments

tj4234 35

Sunday 22 April 2012 12:09

YDI for smoking

willyd1991 1

Sunday 22 April 2012 12:44

Go smoke a dick?

BritLass 15

Sunday 22 April 2012 12:50

That's a goo relative method to stop smoking, let me know how it goes ;)

eccentrix 12

Sunday 22 April 2012 13:04

I don't get it, were they collectors' items? You were planning on burning them, right?

sleepyhungry93 0

Sunday 22 April 2012 13:10

Your husband just might be a genius.

LovexInfinity 5

Sunday 22 April 2012 13:38

YDI for smoking in the first place!

tobedd 13

Sunday 22 April 2012 19:42

How original. Post a thought that hasn't been said 500 times

linkinpark98 23

Sunday 22 April 2012 13:47

Good luck with your lung cancer. :)

paschale 7

Sunday 22 April 2012 13:54

Inhaling that ink's gonna give you cancer

AgaveLoco 5

Sunday 22 April 2012 14:14

Bite hard the cigarrete and look his face after

cathyli623 6

Sunday 22 April 2012 14:15

Smoking is so bad for you so I suggest u try to quit. You could get mouth and gum and and even worse, lung diseases!!

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 242

You deserved it 37 869

Today, my best friend asked if I'd join him and his girlfriend for a 3-way. Since I've always had a crush on his girlfriend, I eagerly agreed. When I got there, I learned that their idea of a 3-way was them watching me jerk off while I watched them have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 567

You deserved it 2 668

The Top

Today, my store manager told me I was fired. I'm not sure what's more insulting - that he'd fire me, or that he forgot I haven't worked there in four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 042

You deserved it 3 794

Today, I was in the middle of enjoying a really good book while in a waiting room. Someone saw what I was reading and thought it would be cool if she leaned over and told me everything that happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 529

You deserved it 3 066

Today, I went to my parents house to secretly collect all of their home videos and convert them to DVDs as a Christmas gift. Among them I found a sex tape my parents had made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 765

You deserved it 3 650

Today, at 2:47 am, my mom woke me up in a panic screaming about smelling gas and the house blowing up. Twenty minutes, two fire trucks, and a traumatized dog later, it was just the neighbors burning their mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 079

You deserved it 221

Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 252

You deserved it 2 724

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 191

You deserved it 4 137

Same thing different taste

It's the thought that counts

Caught in 4K

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