Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML
Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with Farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending texts, emails, or calling, but by placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, after a rough night, my husband's alarms started going off at 5 a.m. All 4 of them. Old town road, the Skyrim theme, that lady yelling, "I got shit to do today" and bagpipes. I'm awake. He's not. FML
Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML
Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
lolatflyingducks 0
Clearly, you have never played Farmville.
chadhilliard67 0
haha, lets hope his strawberrys didnt whither
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (287)
crazyb96 0
Sounds like something my wife would do.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
This is stolen from the french FML site. Stolen AND retold wrong. It was the girl who ran off to take care of the virtual strawberries.
Enny_Naim 0
******* love farmville! How long does it take for things to whither anyway?
tick_tock 0
However long it takes to grow. For example, blueberries grow in 4 hours, therefore you have another 4 hours after they are able to be harvested to collect them. So, if you have a 4 hour crop, you have 8 hours to harvest it.
ryan__h 1
wtf???? you have 4 hours not 8 hours
TheJeninator 0
That sounds like something I would do. I've even gone so far as to call my friend to harvest my crops while I was away on vacation and didn't have a laptop with me.
inge_dude 0
It's totally your fault, if you were having anal sex I bet my right arm he wouldn't even think about any other shit else.
satanstoystore 0
marriage kills the spark in relationships. theres also an inverse relationship to attachment/******. when youre emotionally invested it often takes longer for the woman to ******. ydi for taking too long And getting married.
3arl 0
stop with dumbass sex distraction fmls there are that many fake!"oh me and my husband were having sex then he had to check something " big whoop
irrelevantxx 0
LMFAOOOOO
btyfuldisastr 0
omg this made my life. me and my bf are currently addicted to this game and we are currently trying to beat eachother..so even if we're in teh pool...if we realize what time it is we run inside and get our plants. (normally rasberries since it helps you level up and get money) bahah lame.
namailux3 0
heyy!!! farmville is awesome so shut up!!