Miscellaneous: Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing... - FML

By ShiriSarah - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53832

You deserved it

153030

Tweet

Share

Out of it

Not now, mom, I'm in pain

Not now, please

By abnormallyadam - Australia - Footscray

Today, I found out that the guy I've been crushing on for months is actually 15 years old. I'm 22. Not only is it gross, but it's also illegal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22857

You deserved it

4768

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 27/11/2020 17:58 - Singapore - Singapore

Technologically challenged

Today, during my Zoom PTM my teacher screen-shared his Chrome tab, in which he had opened porn instead of the presentation he had to open, and now mom wants to change my school, where I've been studying in for past 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

878

You deserved it

103

Tweet

Share

By adam - United States

Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23023

You deserved it

4185

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17229

You deserved it

36765

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Planned Parenthood

Today, I got the biggest shock in my life, I'm a mistake, and the only reason why I wasn't put up for adoption is because of the tax refunds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1670

You deserved it

116

Tweet

Share

By Santa - Canada

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42952

You deserved it

4394

Tweet

Share

By noname - France

Today, I went shopping with a friend. She went to try some clothes on and came out to ask for my opinion. "Hell no! That shirt is awful!". She wanted to show me the pants. The shirt was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12000

You deserved it

25208

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/5/2020 20:00

Tasty

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1599

You deserved it

256

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Batesville

Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20409

You deserved it

42490

Tweet

Share

By Joshua Sheldon - Australia - Adelaide

Today, while working alone, I decided to just try some random impressions, and so I ended up doing a French accent when a customer walked in. To avoid embarrassment, I had to continue faking the accent as he struck up a long conversation with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23160

You deserved it

8472

Tweet

Share

By Shrimpy

Today my girlfriend and her 3 friends walked in on me doing a solo performance on myself. They stood their quietly and videoed it unknown to me. And then afterwards laughed and made fun of how small I am. And to make it worse forwarded the video to everyone. Now everyone calls me shrimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2977

You deserved it

467

Tweet

Share

By Bug5992 - United States - Kent

Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31729

You deserved it

10285

Tweet

Share

By wasted_life - United States

Today, I got demoted at my job. Instead of working with patients, they want me to file. The thing is, I'm a volunteer; I work for them for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22947

You deserved it

3727

Tweet

Share

By jeanrose2013 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36220

You deserved it

3177

Tweet

Share

By fatface - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me when my face was going to go back to normal after being swollen from having my wisdom teeth taken out last week. My face is back to normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58038

You deserved it

3753

Tweet

Share

By grreeatttt - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him around two minutes after that, and he had already fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9346

You deserved it

35007

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55855

You deserved it

7216

Tweet

Share

By kenzieeeee - United States

Today, I got stuck in a blizzard. My mother never picked me up like she was supposed to, and wasn't answering her phone. After walking around for a half hour, freezing, I finally found her. Where was she? Sitting in Pizza Hut, having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31522

You deserved it

2350

Tweet

Share

By CrappyCar - United States

Today, I received a notice that if I don't move the abandoned vehicle from outside my house it will be repossessed at my expense. My car isn't abandoned. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43782

You deserved it

4221

Tweet

Share

By INeedMoney - United States

Today, I just finished my first week of unemployment. I don't have any money. I also just finished the last toilet paper roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28614

You deserved it

5004

Tweet

Share

By Kelly

Suspicious Minds

Today, I discovered that my 17-year-old daughter received several weird deposits from Paypal. I checked her phone to discover that she had changed the password for the first time in years. Fearing drugs, I confronted her. She broke down and confessed to selling rare digital Pokemon on eBay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9690

You deserved it

2389

Tweet

Share

By andy1r - Bolivia

Today, my future mother-in-law gave me advice on life. One piece of advice was that I should leave her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31603

You deserved it

2702

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my fencing team took pictures for the yearbook. We were having individual pictures with our weapons, and it was my turn. When the photographer told me to pose, I tried to be super cool by quickly putting my sabre against my chest like some sort of soldier. I poked myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8514

You deserved it

35777

Tweet

Share

By people suck - United States - Oakland

Today, while at work, a customer refused to speak louder, despite me asking her to do it several times. As a result, I took her order incorrectly. The customer then finally decided to raise her voice, but only to yell at me about my poor listening skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32283

You deserved it

2503

Tweet

Share

By fmlTGOD - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37539

You deserved it

5671

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Erie

Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41979

You deserved it

3534

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, at the end of a night of heavy drinking, I decided it was a good idea to go off into the park with a friend of mine. We ended up fooling around in the park, when a couple of kids stole our clothes. We had to walk back to town with no clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15482

You deserved it

74034

Tweet

Share

By zingle af

Erection for Protection

Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock solid erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4482

You deserved it

594

Tweet

Share

By Artic - United States

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

73480

You deserved it

15946

Tweet

Share

By Sorry babe - 29/11/2020 08:02 - United States - Hesperia

Lightweight

Today, I went out for drinks for the first since I stopped breastfeeding. I underestimated how low my tolerance had become and how strong the drinks were. My husband was stopped by two bouncers while trying to carry me to the car. They thought he'd drugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

809

You deserved it

191

Tweet

Share

By female

Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2792

You deserved it

338

Tweet

Share

By me - United States

Today, at 3:00 am, I sat with my 3 year-old adopted daughter while she tried to go back to sleep. She had had a nightmare, and I read that "not leaving" was the most important thing a father could do. My wife woke and called me a pervert for sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

69245

You deserved it

3317

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Modern romance...

Today, I sent a great-quality booty pic to two of my love interests. Instead of sending it individually, I accidentally made a group chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1646

You deserved it

8527

Tweet

Share

By :'( - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was let go from my dream job for requesting Photoshop as well as Illustrator. I was hired to create marketing materials. Guess I should have just used Paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24642

You deserved it

1625

Tweet

Share

By wtfkasey - Canada - Dundas

Today, I walked in on a raccoon viciously tearing apart a giant bag of dog food, not five feet away from my sleeping dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26090

You deserved it

1972

Tweet

Share

By Undefined - France

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?". His answer: "Can I finish my steak?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

23253

You deserved it

8544

Tweet

Share

By Dude - United Kingdom

Today, I went back to school after missing the first 2 weeks of the new school year. I got grilled in my first lesson by my teacher for "gallivanting around on holiday in some sunny place" when I should've been at school learning. My dad had died from liver cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62455

You deserved it

2925

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29861

You deserved it

3413

Tweet

Share

By LaundryVictim

Today, I picked up my laundry from the wash-and-fold and proceeded to put everything away. I noticed a hand towel that wasn't mine and made a mental note to return it; turned out they'd given me someone else's boxers as well. My boyfriend doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13425

You deserved it

1117

Tweet

Share

By sadguy - Czech Republic

Today, I decided to propose to my girlfriend on the Charles Bridge in Prague. A little boy thought it would be fun to chase a flock of pigeons towards me. I freaked out and dropped the 2 carat diamond ring. Into the river. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60617

You deserved it

10939

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

No comments yet.

COMMENTS

No comments yet.