Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
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Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML
Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with Farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending texts, emails, or calling, but by placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, after a rough night, my husband's alarms started going off at 5 a.m. All 4 of them. Old town road, the Skyrim theme, that lady yelling, "I got shit to do today" and bagpipes. I'm awake. He's not. FML
Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML
Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML
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Top comments
lolatflyingducks 0
Clearly, you have never played Farmville.
chadhilliard67 0
haha, lets hope his strawberrys didnt whither
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Comments (287)
MysticCeltic 0
w00t!! FarmVille FTW!! Oh and screw Strawberries, what a worthless crop...Peppers is where it's at for me atm, blueberries seem like a waste of time, too! Right, um...FYL OP but YDI for not being good enough in bed to keep your man's attention all the way thru!!
BabaBlackShirt 0
I've had quite enough of these, "My boyfriend/husband went to do something else during sex. FML" It's getting old. I don't care WHAT he went to do! It's not like you're never gonna have sex again! You'll do it again, and again... One time isn't gonna kill you!!
halfglassfull 0
It sounds like he had a quick passing thought and because it was so random and unexpected, he got instantly distracted. It doesn't sound personal towards you or your sex life.
Jarlais 0
he just wanted to get his hand on some fresh melons. obviously yours are too ripe. haha
worldofwarcraft1 0
i like youville
tenkenshi 2
You people saying you're sick of these types of FMLs, STFU and don't read it, and definitely don't complain about it in comments. Although i guess you all like wasting your time.
famo5 5
See that is why i don't plant strawberries on farmville. i don't go on everyday, so they wither. i prefer squash or wheat. 3 days to harvest and sells for a good price, too. :)
ChibiIlliterate1 0
I'm sorry, but I laughed so hard when I read this.
AntiChrist7 0
Get to know someone before you marry them. YDI
Ranoona 0
i prefer yoville then farmville.