Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
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Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML
Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with Farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending texts, emails, or calling, but by placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, after a rough night, my husband's alarms started going off at 5 a.m. All 4 of them. Old town road, the Skyrim theme, that lady yelling, "I got shit to do today" and bagpipes. I'm awake. He's not. FML
Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML
Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML
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Top comments
lolatflyingducks 0
Clearly, you have never played Farmville.
chadhilliard67 0
haha, lets hope his strawberrys didnt whither
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Comments (287)
RhymePrime 7
Strawberries? What a Noob.
potprincess 0
thats what im sayin!
Wanton_Rhapsody 0
I play this game. It's fun. It's not that fun. That is absolutely never ok. I refuse to believe that sex with him can be particularly enjoyable if he's able to remember that his strawberries are withering in imaginary land. So just be glad you had a concrete reason for not getting off? Good luck. What an ass.
palatapus 0
if you are reading this I would just like to say thank you, good nightcm, merry kwanzakuhmas, and testicles.
LynchyBabes 0
As if he got strawberries! Strawberries suck. Tell him to get something that takes longer to grow next time, like artichokes, so that he can happily have sex, safe in the knowledge that they won't wither for 4 days.
potprincess 0
LMFAOOO THIS SHIT IS SOOOO FUNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY OMGGG hahahahhaha but seriously strawberries suck dick that guy is like on level one what a nub
wtfmudder 0
I actually just submitted an FML not even 5 minutes ago about farmville. My mom tried to kick me off the computer when I was trying to do my university homework so she could harvest her crops. What a tard.
Munkee 6
Tell him to play Country Story! Those things never wither.
nicolexsmile 0
okay what is with people and farmville? cause my facebook homepage is like spammed with it. regardless, your husband made by day. :)
hevyrobbie 0
I Would only do that if it was World of Warcraft :D But not facebook crap... OP: Lose the Zero and get with a WoW Hero :D
wickedgrl13 0
I'd take Farmville over WoW anyday. Have fun being a fairy XD
csdthegreat 0
Is this... the EXACT wording of the one about MouseHunt, EVEN THE TIME BEING 4:15, except MouseHunt is replaced with FarmVille?
mmlover600 0
LMFAO!
lizcat93 0
I just planted a bunch of strawberries.