Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
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Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML
Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with Farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending texts, emails, or calling, but by placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, after a rough night, my husband's alarms started going off at 5 a.m. All 4 of them. Old town road, the Skyrim theme, that lady yelling, "I got shit to do today" and bagpipes. I'm awake. He's not. FML
Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML
Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML
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Top comments
lolatflyingducks 0
Clearly, you have never played Farmville.
chadhilliard67 0
haha, lets hope his strawberrys didnt whither
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Comments (287)
Slitthroat 0
This didn't happen @OP
Jadieexx23 0
i legit lol'd. hahahaahahahaha. anyways,.. shit almostfour thirty?! I GOTTA CHECH MUHH SQUASH.
mopho 0
So were his strawberries okay?
tony8pie 0
He knows how to treat a lady.
machine_girl 0
HAHA thats awesome,you don't want to let your crops wither it sucks :(
Paige_Nicole10 0
wow a cleaverly reworded repeat, the other one the husband was hunting mice..
Obbie_Ze_Numbie 0
Don't blame it on FarmVille ;)
skullbuster 0
Facebook... Listen, as soon as your significant other tells you that they are contemplating a signup on that odious website - RUN, AS FAST AS YOU CAN! Flee the country if necessary.. There is something inherently wrong with the whole thing. "Ooooh no, my fake facebook strawberries are going to wilt..I better get to the keyboard because fake produce is so much better than an ******..." WTF?
RhymePrime 7
Your animosity for that site just alienates you from a billion people. Sure you're entitled to discountenance but how is it odious?
nikola0_o 0
OMG !!! i
candra_naamah 2
he stopped having sex with you so he could check the strawberries on farmville? wow wth? i say next time just do it urself and make him watch wishing he was in there doing it for you. maybe he'll learn not to choose the stupid internet over you.