Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML
Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with Farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending texts, emails, or calling, but by placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, after a rough night, my husband's alarms started going off at 5 a.m. All 4 of them. Old town road, the Skyrim theme, that lady yelling, "I got shit to do today" and bagpipes. I'm awake. He's not. FML
Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML
Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML
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Top comments
lolatflyingducks 0
Clearly, you have never played Farmville.
chadhilliard67 0
haha, lets hope his strawberrys didnt whither
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Comments (287)
good_life35 0
wtf? at least you have sex with your husband! just because he's a weird deuce for using farmville, doesn't mean your life sucks. ydi for marrying a facebooker.
wtfjusthappened1 0
i play farmville, it aint tht fun. sex, prbly way better
olisykes_ 0
The OP obviously hasn't played farmville before. Farmville is way better than sex.
ooh_la_la_123 0
Ugh, I'm sick of these FML where they say "Ohmigosh, I was having sex with my boyfriend when in the middle of it, he decided to check his Facebook status and send 10 text messages to his friends while playing World of Warcraft while cooking hotdogs naked and then he said, "I'll finish you later honey!" Like omg!!!
waterynuggets 0
Rofl
NightVVulf 0
thats where you unplug his computer and give him a good backhand, hopfully that will bring him back to reality.
marshmallowpeep 0
Yess Farmvillians, are extremely Loved like that
thepowerofone 0
holy shit this has to be one of the funniest fml's ever.
LongGone 0
you clearly don't understand the effort it takes to play farmville
afithcb 0
seriously, you should plant cotton. 207 coins per square. farmville pwns.
Dang_Just_Dang 0
Oh crap, this reminds me. I gotta go check my farm! xP Jk. . . .anyways, yeah, that sucks. Sorry about that.