Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was about to kiss my girlfriend right as the clock struck midnight for New Year's. She put her hand in front of my mouth, and broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend gets horny at the most inconvenient times. She woke me up to have sex at 2 a.m. I have work at 6 a.m. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML
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Top comments
Bussed 0
There are still options at that point...
ironwords 8
??? are you the product of incest?
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Comments (98)
sparkey0127 0
you suck that's ashame. better luck next year? or should i say lick??
itspimpz 0
yea yea yea fyl. kamille your kinda sexy
crudeandrudeguy 29
"Kind of sexy" really isn't a compliment dude
meepmeep_fml 0
have you ever heard of ***********? I feel really sorry for your girlfriend.
HamsteronA 0
watch that call on me vid and try them exercises. might help
picturescrazy 24
My boyfriend an I tried to do that too! I had one a few minutes after midnight, but it was still a good way to bring in the New Year. My boyfriend and I came at the same time at least :] You could have at least fingered/ate out your girlfriend... it would've still been possible for her to come at midnight! Oh well, there's always next year.
perdix 31
You shouldn't have been thinking of Brett Favre. That's why you came so soon. To make it last longer, think of something less awesome like your girlfriend's pussy. Her pussy may be great, but it is not going to erase a 17-point deficit at age 40.
waterynuggets 0
ROFL
joemk2012 0
Are you John Madden?
aceman1992 9
holy shit, greatest thing I've heard all day.
iknowwhatyoudid 0
start at...11:58?
changesinme 0
11:59:59 would be best
thinmint 0
so use your fingers or tongue duh. that's selfish that you think the party is over just bc you came
DynamicDave 11
LMAO perdix wins again! @OP: Do I know you? Theres a kid I went to school with who pretty much worshipped Brett Favre and this is something I could totally see him doing...
greenlyng 0
it happens dude