Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML
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Top comments
amayakitty 0
thirty seconds is forever in head time. when you're giving it, anyway. just saying.
perdix 31
That sucks . . . for thirty seconds. She was probably pissed that you were watching the World Series instead of her bobbing up and down on your dick. They want to know that their work is being noticed.
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Comments (170)
AliceStar 2
That sucks lol. Maybe your dick tastes like ....
BelleElle_fml 5
That sucks.
BelleElle_fml 0
Oh whoops. That blows?
_GEORGE_M_96 0
wow! ;)
Selena_is_back 7
wow what?
julian1122 0
hola! como estas?
AliceStar 2
I'm numba 1! woo hoo!
6sick6 4
Her father's.
Lolerskatez 0
Learn to shower o.o
WishResign 0
it doesn't say whether OP is male or female so maybe it's her ****** that tastes like old wet fish. "going down"... not always for girls but in this case, I think so.
klutzycleo 5
Sucks, OP. For 30 seconds, at least o_O
AliceStar 2
Shit. haha. 40 Year Old Virgin You know how I know you're gay ? Your dick tastes like shit.
AliceStar 2
Wow... all my comments have been moderated. nice.
Einstein714 0
and then you give yourself a helping hand
sloppy3301 3
hahhahaha her fathers :/ classic
NoMoreRainbows 0
it tastes like failure
sweetcheeksjvl 0
Eat pineapple I heard it helps it taste better...
darienneheilman 0
actually pineapple doesn't work!
arhanes 0
you have to eat alot of it. and I hear it doesn't change the taste just makes it sweeter
syedlink27 0
haha lol you made a funny
syedlink27 0
why did you swallow that many times?
Selena_is_back 7
105, a funny what?
Bstaut 8
i think he's trying to say that you're hot. which you are, of course, but it's extremely creepy when random dudes try to pick up chicks on the internet, especially on sites like this which have absolutely nothing to do with dating or girls.
legonut6 0
YDI for being gay
sims2lovr01 12
at least she went down :)
sirbrainiac 2
it's Alabama so it doesn't really count :p
Haterman123 0
whays wrong with alabama? and OP 30 is better than 0
DjeePee 25
Ah. So how do men operate? Because, you know, most guys love it when their partner goes down on them. You probably wanted to say "30 seconds is nothing!", but you didn't. My guess is that she just wasn't in the mood at all, still wanted to give it a try, and discovered that it didn't help and she wasn't in the mood. I hope you spiced things up for her, OP.
DjeePee 25
Ah. And women love to be teased? No? Well, don't generalise than. Like I said, this couldn't be teasing, it could be that his girlfriend really wanted to do an effort, but failed. Maybe she's depressed, who know? And yeah, off course there is a chance that his girlfriend is a mean bitch who loves to see the look on his face when she stops after a ******* of thirty seconds, but I doubt it. I have been in situations where I tried to force myself to be nice for my partner (pretending to be happy, pretending to be in the mood, pretending to do like I love Transformers...), and evidentually failed. I was sad all those times. Can explain a few things.
cradle6 13
Yes actually, a lot of girls do like being teased.
at1325 0
I totally agree. I've not been in the mood but wanted to be in the mood so I've started anyway hoping it will help. sometimes it works sometimes not. usually I'm considerate enough to make a valid attempt to quickly get my bf off since I've started the process if I still can't get in the mood.
boopityboppity 11
Hmm... You argue well, organisedchaos. But I know something you don't know; I am not left handed!
futuremarine5 4
I thought u could only go down on a girl ?
Selena_is_back 7
*facepalm*
grabblebyk 1
smh
soul_fml 0
Weelllllll.....
sevans 0
wow what world you live in?
ShearSara 0
hahaha now u know! welcome to the good side lol
MaCOOLiT 5
no wonder youre going in the marines. bwahahaha. FAIL!
tylerlove 0
it's called a *******...mr future Marian......dumb ass
boopityboppity 11
Marian's a maid; there's no Mr. Marian.
fuff_fml 4
ahhh I love that song!!!!!!!!
sukatlife 0
74 wins at life
amypr 20
I bet your girlfriend told you that, huh? ;)
LovesToFlirt 9
LMFAO at 136. That was so funny. Thank you. You brightened my day up. :D
CallMeHush 1
Next time make sure it is clean.
crashtest1205 0
maybe that's not the problem! maybe the girl is just a princess who doesn't think she should have to do anything for the guy? it's a possibility
JustStopSucking 0
why are you sticking up for OPs stinky dick? eh?
Iskaria 0
Maybe he had a similar problem and refuses to believe his hygiene was the issue :p
amayakitty 0
thirty seconds is forever in head time. when you're giving it, anyway. just saying.
trese666 0
hahaha yup
BigDaddySpice 0
Too much asparagus?
BlackMoon_fml 9
Or maybe he has a tiny penis?
marsmallowsrule 0
hah that sucks
RedPillSucks 33
But it doesn't blow.
boopityboppity 11
Well, maybe just a little, RPS.
catstuff 0
You can't always get what youu waant.
Xavi89 0
well it won't be the last time it happens
hghiPigh 0
that's not an fyl. that's f her life for having to do it for you in the first place
willmatrix 6
all women should consider it a privilege.
barbie45_fml 0
waat? ur an ass
premiermois 5
in regards to 45's comment... apparently nine people are seriously lacking a sense of humour.