Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was about to kiss my girlfriend right as the clock struck midnight for New Year's. She put her hand in front of my mouth, and broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend gets horny at the most inconvenient times. She woke me up to have sex at 2 a.m. I have work at 6 a.m. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML
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Top comments
Bussed 0
There are still options at that point...
ironwords 8
??? are you the product of incest?
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Comments (98)
joemk2012 0
Your balls and the New Year ball are a lot alike in that they had both barely dropped before you came
BLEUSKEETER 0
Wat is wrong with your penis man!
kaylaraeh 0
Maybe you should start at 11:59 December 31, and then MAYBE you will be successful.
iPunchedBigFoot 5
Lick her next time. December 31st that is
chase3825 0
what kind of fantasy is that? "I wanna ****** at 5:32pm on Wednesday of next week" haha WTF?
cburke9 7
thats romantic but sad. good luck next year, hopefully next year you can last till 11:59
jewelsfml 0
more like fhl. nothing worse than being let down by your man cuming too soon
hewro_failure 11
You could have still gotten her off ... Its called oral sex
laladd123 11
Hey man don't worry you will have a few more years to hit the midnight O target again
loganberrybat 11
It's alright, she got a full 12 months to find herself a new boyfriend that's actually good in bed