Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was about to kiss my girlfriend right as the clock struck midnight for New Year's. She put her hand in front of my mouth, and broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend gets horny at the most inconvenient times. She woke me up to have sex at 2 a.m. I have work at 6 a.m. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML
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Top comments
Bussed 0
There are still options at that point...
ironwords 8
??? are you the product of incest?
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Comments (98)
loopyballs5 0
umm, wack off b 4 you have sex next time, PACE URSELF, ******* go like 3-5 minuites even after u cum, you cant just quit like that when its once a dam year ugghhghghghg
olisykes_ 0
ydi for being terrible at sex...
theloofy 0
No worries man. You've got all of this year to increase your time. Next time, keep your stop watch handy. Think about your girlfriends face because thinking about who's going to the superbowl this year is far too exciting.
gamer_girl 0
if your afraid your gonna ******, you could always slow down or stop for a minute. if you want an excuse so your girlfriend doesnt think your a moron, you could use switiching positions as an excuse. but then again if you stopped she might not ****** so sorry, not much help at all here XD
theelysium 0
if your bare backing just keep it on and don't stop. once you nut flex your dick and hold it there, keep ficking and you will stay hard. so who cares when you cum! just keep *******!
laxmonkey1440 0
owned tht is sad
srt8jeep 0
hahahaha
iplaymw2 0
9 you are retarted how about we stop bieng blaq wanna be and use full words now
danielleeycakes 3
what a loser. my boyfriend made me ****** when the ball dropped. ;3
LeexaaFreeszh 0
What kind of fantasy is that ?! Does she think that by doing it at that time will bring her good luck ? fyl v.v