Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML
Fast and Furious
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was about to kiss my girlfriend right as the clock struck midnight for New Year's. She put her hand in front of my mouth, and broke up with me. FML
Not now
Today, my girlfriend gets horny at the most inconvenient times. She woke me up to have sex at 2 a.m. I have work at 6 a.m. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Bored
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Narcolepsy
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
I'm gonna come
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML
Top comments
Bussed 0
There are still options at that point...
ironwords 8
??? are you the product of incest?
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Comments (98)
erizzz 0
haha loser
eoghanface 0
HAHA!
jamjenni2774 0
yikes what a way to ring in the new year
mdo87 0
when u popped did u say "HAPPY NEW YEARS!!" and fall right to sleep? lol
Foxracingluver 0
wow wat a "fun" way to end the year
jgrimaldi 0
I think it's more of a FHerLife, than an FYours...
kirakira333 0
aw... poor her :( oh well... there's always next year :D you still got to have sex on new years eve right? so it's all good ;)
Atheistguy 0
hella funny
DBkkk 0
Enzyte or Viagra my nigga
perdix 31
What a coincidence! We also started at 11:53 and I had a hard time making it all the way to midnight, but I did it. But, then again, we started at 11:53 AM! ;)
a124 4
perdix wins yet again.
captainbj2 0
Think there's some Perdix worshipping going on here...careful or u might not last either...